Jus duno hw to describe myself nw.. VERY VERY VERY LOST~

1st of all mus congrats to my Dearest Couple fren - they are my new chummies =)

Happy Marriage to Chaplin & Kris.. finally tied the knot yest 18 Dec 08 @ M Hotel.

Woke up @ 430am and snoozed till 5am..got ready and made my way to Kris's Hse..yes i am being invited to be 1 of her Jie Mei.. This is my 1st time i shld say~ =p

The Bargaining , sabo-ing the groom processes were fun & creative... The groom did not use too much hassle to enter the hse cos due to protection of his MIL..She is one who did not like too much sabo-ing.. and scared missed the auspicious hour to receive the bride..Well..still fun in a way..made the groom and Bros fold 18 paper hearts, made the groom write a marriage vow wif both of the them countersigning.. *sweet* and make him sing loudly , make him recite a long movie line. Simple as dat but in our own creative ways plus the camera and video man in cahoots wif us sistas.. So glad all the jie meis got along well as it was the 1st time we all managed to mit up and noe each other..6 of us (including Kris 2 young sis) rapport very gd and very co-operative =p Kris is reali xingfu to hav Chaplin..a reali gd hubby who doted on her 1000000000 times.. =p Very touched by them. The jie meis were either pri/sec /colleagues..me linked frm him1 which i am supposed to be more to the groom's fren..the gers all found dat i am uniquely linked to the couple.. YESH! 10Q him1 for introducing me to them... =p

Since the time still early to go to the groom's hse..we headed to the nearest church in Serangoon i tink...a nice and famous location dat couples liked to take weddin pics @.. I dint reali take pics frm my cammy cos i am busy as a role as a jie mei..mus wait for Kris to develop pics den i can upload.

The whole thing ended ard 12pm..had a mini lunch @ the bride's hse.. den took a bus back hm..reached hm 1 pm..wanted to take a rest..but ended i slept ard 2 plus.. wanted go do my hair, make up...but i overslept till 4 plus. Haiz.. Super tired.. somemore menses came on the wrong dae.. Jie mei dress was white ma..thruout the whole morn i felt so unsafe lo..i kept asking the gals to "lookout" for me..though Biaomei kept assuring me the previous nite.. i still felt uneasy! Haiz.. luckily safe zone all the way~ =p By the time..i woke up, faster choose my dress , ironed it, bathe.. and suddenly received GQ's call (he finally got my no, so far called me for work and rarely sms me..)..asked me to help him settle some work prob.. den i faster called my boss, my uncle etc... den faster rushed out to be @ the hotel @ 630pm. I reached ard 7 cos i reali felt so tired and with my menses.. i reali so worn out~

When i reached the hotel reception..i tot my area shld be near ballrm or wad..i dint realise once the lift opened.. the camera man immediately "captured" me and say whoa.. jie mei here here..faster sit.. den took a pic of me.. abit in the limelight..everyone either came out of the lift in a grp or cluster..me alone leh.. hahhaha. Some of the guests were thea oredi.

Ha...due to morn oredi built rapport wif the video and camera man.. they kept on disturbing me..hurhur! And still let me see wad they hav taken so far.. awaiting the pics heh.

After the dinner... we bros and sistas cheong to the hotel suite and waited for the newly couple...Ha some bros reali came up with some funny sabo-ing.. Some too RA to be mentioned.. but we spectators esp gals still able to "view" the show..

Oh the groom told me him1 had moved on wif a new thai gf.. upon hearing dat..he asked me to move on and dun cry leh..i told him i hav moved on b4 him jus dat i dun need a guy! He says he reali admired my courage and so strong to go thru this ..nt easy lo.. i told him go honeymoon buy me more LV can liao...mwahahhahha.. diong~

We played ard 12 plus den went hm.. i slept few hrs and went to work.. SOme stupid sub cons givin me prob.. i felt so pek chek lo......... =( Last min got to order KFC /pizza hut for the board mtg as a reward for all our hard work and gd attendance frm my director.. luckily during the mtg..i still forced myself to be awake.. and the food delivery came on time phew! While eating half way, my director suddenly turned to me and say besides ur boss u are the only gal and only 1 nt married in this rm..i jus smile @ him..he says i still young , got time dun worry~ dots dots dots.. imagine my director say this . funny le..Hectic morn lor........... =(

In the afternoon..many sub cons wana book for other safety classes.. 1 company @ least got 20 men ..and i needa arrange special class..including GQ's company.. den remembering Boss did nt cfm wif me abt the dept xmas lunch with the sub cons..i quickly run thru the menu and faster called up the caterer.. finally decided on 24 Dec phew again! So many ad-hoc stuffs.. and i hav damn alot passes to make cos of them..tomoro no choice got to go bac be OT queen. Me , Boss and the new gal joined with main office ppl for a xmas mini gift exchange..we wrote our wishlist on a pce of paper and hang on the board.. luckily the person i drew lot to buy for is a gal..but a filipina..ha.. seems like i got "affinity" with Filipinas hor.. She wanted a nice pink/ blue bath towel..hurhur~ budget is $15 and above..to make the person buy for me easier..i requested for shopping voucher.. =p But i duno who will buy mine. The new gal got boss de and she was cursing and swearing..so you yuan fen hahahha. The gift exchange shall be done on 24 Dec morn.. i am nt looking fwd to work dat dae.. Recently many sub cons gave me lotsa diaries , calendars and kept telling me to use theirs cos theirs better.. every1 wanted me to use theirs ..alamak.. *headache*

PS : Duno y when i heard him1 is attached again..i dun feel sad or sour or angry.. i jus feel dat me n his 8yrs ++ rs cant withstood the test.. 3 mths ago..he still felt like dying, bugging me to patch up..nw 3 mths later he has a new gf..ok la..@ least he is not torturing himself la.. be it he is serious or jus playing ard..@ least he is up on his feet again. I feel happy for him too. But tinking about dis.. i jus cant help drop tears cos i reali wasted my 1/4 journey of my life wif him and seein ppl so happily hitched,,ya envious oso lidat.. and it proves 1 thing no matter hw he used to say love me forever, only 1 in his heart all bullshit.. no one cannot do w/o wif anyone.. as time passed by..life still has to go on unless u are nt living on earth anymore~

Dear chummies : pls- I AM NOT SAD OR EMO COS HE GOT NEW GF OR WAD.. I AM SAD IN A WAY TINKING BAC THOSE SWEET PROMISES HE GAV ME, THOSE PERSISTENT SMS-ES/ CALLS ..and nw he is someone's bf. I felt kinda lost .. mayb oso used to his bugging..suddenly dun hav anything anymore.... is the kind of feeling suddenly i am trapped in a maze w/o any directions given to get out.. I HAVE GOTTEN OVER HIM>> but not the memories we once shared..dats all.. PLS DO NOT TINK I HAVE NOT GOTTEN OVER HIM>>

For those who still dun understand..nvm la.. no need console or wad.. i jus wana be alone.. diff ppl diff views and i definitely respect that.. =p Jus hope he wont get conned by any woman out thea who jus wanted be PR. I feel dat thea wont be any frenship betw me n him1 le.. cos i tink he hated me most nw.. and i hav hurt him in some way..initially i still felt guilty and bad.. when he was on the rite track..i left him.. nw i wont feel dis way~ but somehw i still felt suffocating.. SObz.

I remember 3mths back..my workload alot and i buried myself @ work everydae..den i can forget him fast of cos wif him2 distraction too..nw 3 mths later my workload piling agin cos new proj coming in..i can use this to bury myself again..hmm is it fated to forget this fast in dis way?

Mayb too emo liao..sms him2 i wanted to opt out again... he asked me wad happened.. i told him abit detail abt him1.. he dint say much..den jus say y am i feelin dis way..shld feel happy for him1 ma. Me and him2 got some issues ..not much of a prob..jus dat me pisses him off again.. and he too busy to quarrel wif me..we shall see tomoro.

Prob with me dat needs to be changed..09 coming so i hope i will be more "xing mu" haiz.

I ALWAYS KEPT A DIST WIF SINGLE AND ELIGIBLE GUY - scared they jus wan be more den frens and i will siam them.. i got no sense of security nw.. will still hee hee haa haa wif ppl but i will shut my door nw.

TOT BEFREN THOSE ATTACHED de..safer cos i will keep reminding myself not to tread over the line.. but cos seein each other everydae / sms / hang out.. very click and hav feelin in the end =( So far i am very rational..noe wad i am doing le.

Reali felt like callin elvin for drink but i noe even i drunk le... i still will nt forget my sorrows.. arghhhhhhh..so save $$. Recession bad too~Bad year for me. Even someone is wooin my new gal..someone frm nxt door office..seems a nice and decent chap..happy for her~ nw i am her love consultant.. cos she is reali a newbie @ dis.

Rite nw..resolution for yr 09 most impt..work hard and earn more $$ to let myself free from this place and go roam ard. True..I am scared i cant catch up wif my marriage biological clock...i jus leave it ba..very tired nw.. very emo and emo and emo.. very scared of noein a guy nw..

Of cos hiao-ing with frens for xmas , gift exchange still go on...jus let me be these few daes b4 xmas.. i needa hav peace ya. Den i can be bac to myself to njoy this festive cele. Tis yr diff cos its with my chummies and Biaomei...

Dun worry.. i am sure i can get on my feet again..i will force myself to walk out of this b4 09 comes.. cos nxt yr more workload and appraisal stricter.. *stressed*well mayb him1 future wife is fated to be a foreigner..all along he wans a simple woman who noes hw to bear him kids, takes gd care of the family and COOK most impt. Wish him luck~

Kris and Chaplin - I am so happy to noe both of U thru him1. Though both of u are his frens, but are on my side and i am truly glad abt this.. =) Friends forever ya..congrats again. Enjoy ur honeymoon muacks.

^____^