CONGRATS TO MYSELF! I have passed my BIZ law paper. Got a Credit for dat. Initially i was still expecting a distinction but who knew i would fall sick @ dat crucial moment! I spent lotsa time revisin on this as I had the questions on hand oredi, made it easier for me. The time spent with my classmates and takin leave to study @ hm..I dint noe i can be so disciplined ! Gd job done. Lucky my sch accepted my MC for my absence for Accs paper, i be re-takin it in mid Jan.
Weird lo..most of my classmates tot they would flunk both the papers..but they got distinction le and even a credit for the weaker students..were the lecturers lenient or cos my classmates were all gd at studies and jus plain gun chiong ar? I am feelin so stressed nw! I jus hope can pass my Accs paper. My 2 classmates so sweet said would help me study for my sub paper. =) B4 I start muggin again, oredi planned take 1 dae lve to reali shop and enjoy!! Mths nvr do retail therapy, reali lost touch with outside world. Wish me luck!
When i sms them to check emails frm sch..they oso cannot believe their eyes!
Recently can work reali late in office, partly to clear as much as passes as possible, sec to bury myself in all dis. B4 class starts, I better take time to clear my work , try dun bring it to nxt yr but i tink hard la!
Duno tomoro new yr eve can go off earlier, hurhur to me no diff i wont leave early oso! I be meetin cz for dinner..ya this charac mths nvr appeared on my blog..he oso bz with work! Mayb after dat going over to Ah Na's place to chill ! Sat be meetin Mavis go xplore the new mall @ Somerset - 313 Somerset! Reali jia lat le..I dun even noe which part until my blood sis told me!
I guess i can b a zhai nu soon, so uninformed of outside actitvies nw, plainly work and study!!
Duno is it gd or bad, can save some $ and oso spent quality time wif myself. I heart my netbk so much, will try learn new things online, time will heal - i hope so!
Ya duno y recently quite EMO. Though i passed my exams ..i am very worried abt the upcomin mods. With my hectic work, hw is my bod able to take it? Ya i have lost 1 and a half kg, wads so contemplatin?!
Nxt Jan - Mar i will hav 3 mod - wed, thu and sat..so packked rite. Cfm no nid hav bf liao. Anyway i oso nt ready and no mood too! I jus wanna shun li pass all mod and graduate!
Ha eveyone tinkin of wad resolutions to hav for yr 2010 ?
JEN ONLY WANS TO PASS ALL MOD, SECURE MY CURRENT JOB, SPENT MORE TIME WIF FAMILY AND BESTIES! As long as evryone ard me my dearies safe, happy and healthy, i got nothin to ask for reali. Simple as dat!
Jus nw during dinner, Dad told me abt his CEO changed car again every yr end and their bonus only standard 13mths and for those above 60yrs category like him - v lucky nvr get retrenched, dun expect too much bonus or reali gd pay increment! Den he commented if possible dun wan live in SG, everythin so EX nw! Upon hearing dat, i looked @ him, noticed his white hair, i felt dat both of us were aging liao! Few more yrs or less den 5, he b retiring and would i as a big sista able to take over the burden to suppt the family. Of cos my parents wont starve, I feelin the signs of age more and more. In my heart i was cryin! I still studyin and nt earning much still..mayb its gd i jus stay @ hm. As for havin a grandchild to play wif, I dun tink i be able to fulfil this while they ard! V emo nw! I ONLY CAN CRY HERE! *SOBZ*
Realised recently take pics oso able to reali show out my smile , v tired face..haiz..ok la at least ppl say i tired nt HAGGARD! =S
I tink i am reali used to zzz earliest 3am..unless i reali doze off while typing which happened yest while msn Trish, meaning i am reali TIRED. if nt unless studyin for exams , i would hiao nails to make myself tired neh!
I noe its unhealthy and my 2 pimples would be the best vouch! Well, whether its still cos of him2 or wad.. all plays a part. Dint noe he be that significant for nw. I hate this yucky feeling =S Tink only Trish noes best dis feeling! Thanks for msn with me almost every nite and partly i oso nt aware of the timing i supposed to zz. She said I am a Xian Nu - can float liao, eat so little, nt enugh zzz..nt dat i wana le..can control my brains to stop being so woeful and active! I am tryin to be cheerful la! Nt ez.. =X
Hmm dat dae i called him2 abt some work, he sounded so sian, reckoned he bad dae at work so i fast fast chop chop and put dwn the phone. He told me he bz so dint see my sms on work! I jus said i knew so i called faster lo. Heard his voice le but i felt............duno hw to describe! nt a gd feelin yet happy!
Cant help sms him2 yest told him i may hav a letter for him, to wrap up my tots and nt to reinstate the closeness. But i am so mao tun, b4 he replied, i jus add on sayin he wont wanna read or hav anythin ai mei with me anymore! (well he oso nvr reply), ya Trish is rite..i shld nt sms him dat..if he reali felt somethin, there is nothin he can do though he noes he is the root to my current unhappiness and tryin to move on myself! I told him i reali hope he can read my letter unless he so harshly tells me nt to do it! But he dint! Seein his pics with his wife so happy hangin out togther, happy for him too =) I oso wan the best for him! I oso duno wad rs i wanna with him2 ..he oso cant bear bein harsh and drive me away totali unless i reali pissed him off ba which i wont!
This safe dist i had with him for nw is reali SUFFOCATIN and TORMENTIN, as long as he dun fb chat me or sms his bu shuang, i shld be fine ba! But seein him askin me lame things jus wanna get my attn is forever so funny to mi seein his reaction!
I duno el be readin dis : hope nt! THE FEELIN I HAD FOR EL HAD TURNED TO REALI BUDDIES and though sometimes it is ai mei - i dun feel he be dat special someone kept in my heart anymore, jus dat v comfy to hang with him, no qualms to share anythin with him! He did advise me sayin him2 still likes me la jus dat he gt committment and he would draw line if he reali still gt conscience towards me and his wife!
But if i dun tell him, he may tink i jus wanna him come take his pressies and nothin impt dat would make him wanna drop by. Nt like last time i requested, he will cum even for awhile and hearing his irritatin walkie talkie keep callin his name!
Ok la duno wad to write oso..jus dun look forwad wad a gd yr 2010 gonna be for me. Take it as it comes attitude, tryin be cheerful and study hard , work - secure job so LL gotta do it! i guess sorry dears..yr 2010 I will still blog abt him2 unless he tells me harshly to leave him alone. Mayb he will soon............duno and dun wish to noe! Hope my heart can b healed. Mayb i nt suited to like some1 ba, or y i liked de always like to keep me in their pockets like chihuahua ! Cant they be more truthful towards me, certain ppl no outcome but i believe when u like some1 , u will reali go extra miles and nt keep in 1 corner of ur heart which i oso duno i being taken for granted or reali dat special to them. $^&#@! Hurhur i dun tink i reali possess such charms like a fairy attraction =X
PS: alarm clock dun work on me anymore. Either i over zzz or woke up early on weekends, eyes open big big, mind wanderin ard den tryin to close my eyes and go bac to LALA land! Am i considered strong oredi?
Whether him2 is a mistake , i noe for nw i am nt GAME for dis! I reckon him would be the last for nw!
Jia you Jen ..i have moved on slowly frm him1 - den feelin the sweetness for 1yr plus at least some1 care and like me ..though its an undergrd r/s..reali a CLOSED one! Imagine the wei qu i go thru, my selfless act..wei da de ben nu ren! =S After Dec, i hope i can tide thru ..emo will la but hav to face the fact i am alone once again! As long as him2 nvr asked me to leave him alone..i be who i am, continue to do wad i doin. My dearies need me to be thea, in order to suppt them mostly emotionally, i hve to force myself to bite thru dis ordeal.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
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