Woke up late todae..feelin groggy and havin a bad headache..decided to take MC. Seen doc and given a dae rest for migraine =( Doc wanted to give me 2 daes but i said 1 dae is gd enugh..as long as i quit my migraine will b gone, doc was laughing...
Cause - unhappy @ work and hope to find a new job soon...enugh of this environment =(
Him1
-I tink recently i am emo le...keep thinking abt him, him & him...despite my work oso !
Really cherish all the sms-es u sent me despite bo liao de, words of advice, flirtatious, good nites..as n when i will jus open inbox and read all over again and tinking abt wad had happened @ dat particular dae..i am so stupid rite? Do i really care so much 4u ? Do u cherish me ? I really hope to go inside ur heart and noe wad u tinking...Arent we very close and lovin? Wad happened nw ? See each other like no more sparks... I dun wish to avoid u cos i reali care. Can u jus tell me wad u tinkin and feelin? Am i really thinkin too much ? (Even a sneeze for 3 times makes me tink are u tinkin of me le?? ) Y cant u jus open up to me ? There are no secrets between us le ! I am feelin real miserable and sad...Do u noe ? Talk to u seems no response, seems like u avoidin to talk...dun u tink bac our happy moments? We reali long time no go out le, miss those times lo. Like dat i rather we are jus pure frens and i wont b so sad when u ignore me.
Him2
-People always say some things are better left unsaid. As long as ur heart gt dat person, no nid to always be wif each other or how far we are, feelings will still b there. Is it true ? I wonder sometimes...As long as i see u happy, i am contented.I see u sad i oso will b sad. If u nid me i be there 4u. But the thing is i nt happy @ all and u shld hav guessed.
him3
-I dun hate gaming @ all...but u mus know ur limits...you are totally neglectin me..given my gd patience, i have tolerated very long and i am so unhappy..u ask me to understand dat is ur only entertainment - i agree rather u go pubbin again but y cant u jus stop playin when i there ? Tried talkin to u but u jus don't get it...am i supposed to reali live with it and wait till u tired of gamin or shld i choose to leave silently..but on the other hand scared u will do silly things to hurt urself..See i care for u more den i care for myself...sometimes i sick of bein a nice gal... sobz...When u outside expect me @ hm, when u hm i oso mus b @ hm..overall y cant i jus go out and enjoy urself since u dun wan mit me ? What u wan me to do? Weekend comin oso seem no diff for me ! I nid fresh air and a holi but u cant commit oso due to ur work. Jus when i nid u, u seem so near yet so far.
*HEADACHE*
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Attached are some pics of my god-daughter Nikki 1 mth old pics =) Managed to upload after abt a week le.
Emo Part 1
Suddenly emo again..haiz..
Really missed those gd old daes -us
walking in the rain sharing umbrella, happily chattin, always by my side..
watching movies together, share ups n dwns le..I will nt forget wad u have told me b4..mus b happy most impt
always willing to talk to me, listen to my probs..give precious advice, long hrs of talkin on the phone
noe hw i feel, antidote to my sadness..
happy moments will always be remembered.. u take care =)
R we driftin apart or still close in contact..tink of u ..i reali emo lor =(
Abit regretted wad u told me and i chose to act blur..
time cannot buy bac anything..wads lost is lost..only can hope for the best in future. Are u feelin wad i feelin?
Where are u nw ? Can u hug me or lend me a shoulder to rely on & cry ? I seriously nid a hug so badly le.
Emo part 2..
i have done wad i can done...are u still angry wif me for nt spendin more time wif u..wad u wan frm me ? Ur time reali cannot compromise and everytime u emo, u tend to say hurtin words which u urself duno..like dun care abt u le...all words no action, no sincerity. U very mood swing le..i dun mind u can vent ur frustrations on me but nt to the extend like u say till i totali neglect u..mayb when u happen to b readin dis..u sure b worked up! Pls do not ok...I am lots emo den u..but i choose to bottle up..i simply dun wan add on to ur burden..doesnt mean i dun care..can u pls get it straight in ur hd? If u keep tinking this way...as long as u are happy u can do wateva u wan...sick n tired of sayin I nvr make effort le...I cry oso hide in a corner dun let anyone noe lo..dun expect u to feel or noe wad i gg thru..jus hope u wont misunderstand me further!
Emo part 3
trying to eat and sleep well..so far doin it slowly..trying my best
work sucks and i reali dread gg to work...
those officers reali an eyesore le..wastin our tax payers $
reali wan get outta there asap ..sobz.
Emo part 4
lotsa uncertainties in life le....no one noes wad will happen to my life when i stepped out of my obstacle.
This is the 1st time i really feel so emo and can dun eat for weeks, survive only on drinkin. I try to dun tink so much...i nid to calm myself dwn and analyse properly my route...I wan to do things that will make me happy..ya everyone keeps saying life is short n unpredictable, jus cherish wad u hav. I Know ar...but who will reali cherish me ?
Hope few mths later when i read this page..i wonder hw i will feel @ dat time le. We shall see.
Emo Part 1
Suddenly emo again..haiz..
Really missed those gd old daes -us
walking in the rain sharing umbrella, happily chattin, always by my side..
watching movies together, share ups n dwns le..I will nt forget wad u have told me b4..mus b happy most impt
always willing to talk to me, listen to my probs..give precious advice, long hrs of talkin on the phone
noe hw i feel, antidote to my sadness..
happy moments will always be remembered.. u take care =)
R we driftin apart or still close in contact..tink of u ..i reali emo lor =(
Abit regretted wad u told me and i chose to act blur..
time cannot buy bac anything..wads lost is lost..only can hope for the best in future. Are u feelin wad i feelin?
Where are u nw ? Can u hug me or lend me a shoulder to rely on & cry ? I seriously nid a hug so badly le.
Emo part 2..
i have done wad i can done...are u still angry wif me for nt spendin more time wif u..wad u wan frm me ? Ur time reali cannot compromise and everytime u emo, u tend to say hurtin words which u urself duno..like dun care abt u le...all words no action, no sincerity. U very mood swing le..i dun mind u can vent ur frustrations on me but nt to the extend like u say till i totali neglect u..mayb when u happen to b readin dis..u sure b worked up! Pls do not ok...I am lots emo den u..but i choose to bottle up..i simply dun wan add on to ur burden..doesnt mean i dun care..can u pls get it straight in ur hd? If u keep tinking this way...as long as u are happy u can do wateva u wan...sick n tired of sayin I nvr make effort le...I cry oso hide in a corner dun let anyone noe lo..dun expect u to feel or noe wad i gg thru..jus hope u wont misunderstand me further!
Emo part 3
trying to eat and sleep well..so far doin it slowly..trying my best
work sucks and i reali dread gg to work...
those officers reali an eyesore le..wastin our tax payers $
reali wan get outta there asap ..sobz.
Emo part 4
lotsa uncertainties in life le....no one noes wad will happen to my life when i stepped out of my obstacle.
This is the 1st time i really feel so emo and can dun eat for weeks, survive only on drinkin. I try to dun tink so much...i nid to calm myself dwn and analyse properly my route...I wan to do things that will make me happy..ya everyone keeps saying life is short n unpredictable, jus cherish wad u hav. I Know ar...but who will reali cherish me ?
Hope few mths later when i read this page..i wonder hw i will feel @ dat time le. We shall see.
Last fri went Kenneth's hse to chillout with my clan for a mahjong session..of cos i jus sat there and watched my frens play lol..His hse is reali damn big lor..lucky his dog is those very tamed one.. =) Fengming da bao some "wu xiang" frm her parent's stall..so yummy le.. thanks gal! Reali no mood to go de but the 3 gals keep askin me to go lor..
After dat had supper and Jay sent me hm. Reached hm ard 4 am plus and feel very emo lor...haiz..sorry bud for the harsh sms-es =( Glad u dun take it to heart. Recently i jus kept crying cos feelin very emo le.
Sat woke up early to go dear's Sis hse for BBQ..simply no mood lo but still put on a smile and go lo...Ya it was raining and we had BBQ under a paviliion @ her Condo. Damn low lor..cos i was feelin cold, sad and moody..and somemore i cannot say anything..i jus sat there and ate my food le.
Reached his Sis hse..rest a while and played board game..kinda tiring and borin i mus say..but i jus accomodate the others lo...I hid my tirin face and ate dinner and went to sleep very early..Kinda very very low cos had a tiff wif dear over some bo liao issues which i think he reali think too much le...sounds familiar..bud keep saying me oso...lol
Sun woke up damn early again..noon went strolling wif dear and his sis and bf @ West Coast Pk..wanted to rent bicycle but there is no bicycle- kiosk so ended up @ Mac to hav some snacks..Headed bac to dear's hm in the evenin..so tired...I fell alseep in the cab. Upon reaching dear's hse..i jus went to dreamland automatically!
Mon bluesssssssss..went office damn sian..and still nt enugh rest...see my bud so sad i oso dun feel gd..haiz..duno hw to console him and there is nothin i can do...if he nids me to b there, i will as his best fren le.
Will pray and chant hard for him le..hope he can pick up himself..though he dint talk to me and wanted to b alone..i still will worry for him lor...Did some urgent work and simply no mood to work thruout.
After work, met up cuz for dinner @ Orchard....walked ard..dint reali buy things except some necessities..She bot 2 pairs of shoes and she was saying she was buying more den me again lol. I swear i did try the shoes but they are nt comfy le. Took train hm, had long talk on the phone wif her after reachin hm..dint realise my hp low batt liao..mwahahhahaha...we always hav so much to talk abt... =)
Cuz - i will sure heed ur advice de..i will nt torture myself..watever happens...its the path i choose myself in the end...hugz.
I tink as long as bud feels so sad..i wont feel gd also....nothin will cheer him up i guess.I noe he is bottling up and choose to ignore..i noe if he breaks dwn dats it le...For me...am i really thinkin too much?...havin bad headache le and u can tell so late @ 238am i still bloggin... super haiz.
Btw..happy 22 yrs old sista..so fast man...
After dat had supper and Jay sent me hm. Reached hm ard 4 am plus and feel very emo lor...haiz..sorry bud for the harsh sms-es =( Glad u dun take it to heart. Recently i jus kept crying cos feelin very emo le.
Sat woke up early to go dear's Sis hse for BBQ..simply no mood lo but still put on a smile and go lo...Ya it was raining and we had BBQ under a paviliion @ her Condo. Damn low lor..cos i was feelin cold, sad and moody..and somemore i cannot say anything..i jus sat there and ate my food le.
Reached his Sis hse..rest a while and played board game..kinda tiring and borin i mus say..but i jus accomodate the others lo...I hid my tirin face and ate dinner and went to sleep very early..Kinda very very low cos had a tiff wif dear over some bo liao issues which i think he reali think too much le...sounds familiar..bud keep saying me oso...lol
Sun woke up damn early again..noon went strolling wif dear and his sis and bf @ West Coast Pk..wanted to rent bicycle but there is no bicycle- kiosk so ended up @ Mac to hav some snacks..Headed bac to dear's hm in the evenin..so tired...I fell alseep in the cab. Upon reaching dear's hse..i jus went to dreamland automatically!
Mon bluesssssssss..went office damn sian..and still nt enugh rest...see my bud so sad i oso dun feel gd..haiz..duno hw to console him and there is nothin i can do...if he nids me to b there, i will as his best fren le.
Will pray and chant hard for him le..hope he can pick up himself..though he dint talk to me and wanted to b alone..i still will worry for him lor...Did some urgent work and simply no mood to work thruout.
After work, met up cuz for dinner @ Orchard....walked ard..dint reali buy things except some necessities..She bot 2 pairs of shoes and she was saying she was buying more den me again lol. I swear i did try the shoes but they are nt comfy le. Took train hm, had long talk on the phone wif her after reachin hm..dint realise my hp low batt liao..mwahahhahaha...we always hav so much to talk abt... =)
Cuz - i will sure heed ur advice de..i will nt torture myself..watever happens...its the path i choose myself in the end...hugz.
I tink as long as bud feels so sad..i wont feel gd also....nothin will cheer him up i guess.I noe he is bottling up and choose to ignore..i noe if he breaks dwn dats it le...For me...am i really thinkin too much?...havin bad headache le and u can tell so late @ 238am i still bloggin... super haiz.
Btw..happy 22 yrs old sista..so fast man...
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Haiz.. am i gd @ hiding my feelings or wad? I jus dun wan add burden to my frens who hav their own probs..Lidat oso wrong ma ? Got ppl tell me cant tell i sad and dint eat well..pics still look ok in frenster.. i jus wan show i happy on the outside.. but actually unhappy on the inside...? Is it long time no mit cause lotsa friction? Not i dun wan make effort but you no time for me le...dear fren can u understand dat? U keep saying i bo chup u..dun make effort..i oso duno hw..mayb jus treat it as my fault..All of us hav emo times n mood swings..I choose nt to bother you cos i noe you oredi so fan.... =( I jus feel dat everytime u are havin a hard time, stressed or watever, you will say frens are nt thea for u..esp me..haiz..wad u wan me to do ?
Ya recently i very low, unmotivated , sad etc...but i choose to keep it to myself...I still appear to b happy lo..wad to do..dun wish to affect ppl ard me...this is nt "wei da" ..its jus dat i jus wan my frens to b happy..Who reali share my burden wif me except those reali close to me..We were close oso..but u keep saying we once close but nt nw..I really so sad..
Todae @ work..feel so low..jus keep staring at the clock to wait to go hm...Lucky tomoro fri le.
Though feel sad so mus doll up even prettier so that i feel happier when i look nice..isnt it basic thinkin?
Ya recently i very low, unmotivated , sad etc...but i choose to keep it to myself...I still appear to b happy lo..wad to do..dun wish to affect ppl ard me...this is nt "wei da" ..its jus dat i jus wan my frens to b happy..Who reali share my burden wif me except those reali close to me..We were close oso..but u keep saying we once close but nt nw..I really so sad..
Todae @ work..feel so low..jus keep staring at the clock to wait to go hm...Lucky tomoro fri le.
Though feel sad so mus doll up even prettier so that i feel happier when i look nice..isnt it basic thinkin?
Monday, June 11, 2007
Kinda moody, sad, lost, confused, shocked & stressed recently! (Dats y no updated entries)
Ok shall sum up wad i did for this week.
Mon -thu = slogged & slogged duno for wad - clear stuffs - stressed =.= Not eating well and sleepin well.
Suspect soon will hav anorexic =( Hope nt! Forcing myself to eat and sleep well.
Fri - seminar cum activities @ Seletar Camp = hot, borin, confused , tired =.=
Sat - dear & me met up Chaplin & Kristin @ Bugis..all dolled up cos at nite gotta attend Mum's side cuz weddin dinner. Did some retail therapy in the noon..Dear allowed me to do my shopping cos he says i can indulge in shopping if dat can make me feel happier.. End up dear paid for my new bag, CDs, accessories..He said its for my belated bdae pressie...after dat i bot a dress frm Mphosis..cant resist the dress..really so nice i feel dat and gt sale somemore..Overall..shopped until very happy..after weddin dinner went Kbox wif Chaplin & Kristin and sang till 3am..Overall tired but a fruitful dae.. Dedicated some songs and my tears jus flowed freely...Dear asked me y i cried..i also cant explain but i think i noe wads the cause.. Haiz.. =(
Sun - while eating lunch, suddenly cried again..no appetite. Evening went to my god-daughter 1mth old cele...me & dear met up wif Justin.. took pics, chatted..I keep taking pics wif the baby until so happy..i forget all my worries le.. =)
Dear abit worried for me cos he duno wads the cause of my "misbehaviour"..i told him i am stressed @ work..hmm in fact...
He said i have lost weight and looked so tired.
I jus feel so confused, sad, unhappy abt...
Ok shall sum up wad i did for this week.
Mon -thu = slogged & slogged duno for wad - clear stuffs - stressed =.= Not eating well and sleepin well.
Suspect soon will hav anorexic =( Hope nt! Forcing myself to eat and sleep well.
Fri - seminar cum activities @ Seletar Camp = hot, borin, confused , tired =.=
Sat - dear & me met up Chaplin & Kristin @ Bugis..all dolled up cos at nite gotta attend Mum's side cuz weddin dinner. Did some retail therapy in the noon..Dear allowed me to do my shopping cos he says i can indulge in shopping if dat can make me feel happier.. End up dear paid for my new bag, CDs, accessories..He said its for my belated bdae pressie...after dat i bot a dress frm Mphosis..cant resist the dress..really so nice i feel dat and gt sale somemore..Overall..shopped until very happy..after weddin dinner went Kbox wif Chaplin & Kristin and sang till 3am..Overall tired but a fruitful dae.. Dedicated some songs and my tears jus flowed freely...Dear asked me y i cried..i also cant explain but i think i noe wads the cause.. Haiz.. =(
Sun - while eating lunch, suddenly cried again..no appetite. Evening went to my god-daughter 1mth old cele...me & dear met up wif Justin.. took pics, chatted..I keep taking pics wif the baby until so happy..i forget all my worries le.. =)
Dear abit worried for me cos he duno wads the cause of my "misbehaviour"..i told him i am stressed @ work..hmm in fact...
He said i have lost weight and looked so tired.
I jus feel so confused, sad, unhappy abt...
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Happiest moment awaited~ Happy bdae to myself ^_^ 26 yrs old liao...Shhh..!
I got Bdae off le...finally can rest again~
Though dear dun tink can cele wif me but he promised me we hav a belated one on weekend..Wad to do since his new unit is so "unfair" to him..hope his interview on tue goes smoothly le..Haiz..I jus sit at hm and wait for him to mit me..He said worse to worse go Causeway pt for dinner n movie..at least gt mit me le. Nt meeting Mag tomoro cos she is nt done wif her shifting yt..haiz..but lookin fwd to see her new crib...
These 2 weeks i hav been staying @ hm...so proud of myself though its very sian le.
This weekend i oso stayed at dear's hse to watch korean drama and only place i went was his sis new hse for dinner...nt like hiaopo's style rite? Mwahhahaha....
Hmm...GSS soon i will come...pls wait up for me hor! =)
I got Bdae off le...finally can rest again~
Though dear dun tink can cele wif me but he promised me we hav a belated one on weekend..Wad to do since his new unit is so "unfair" to him..hope his interview on tue goes smoothly le..Haiz..I jus sit at hm and wait for him to mit me..He said worse to worse go Causeway pt for dinner n movie..at least gt mit me le. Nt meeting Mag tomoro cos she is nt done wif her shifting yt..haiz..but lookin fwd to see her new crib...
These 2 weeks i hav been staying @ hm...so proud of myself though its very sian le.
This weekend i oso stayed at dear's hse to watch korean drama and only place i went was his sis new hse for dinner...nt like hiaopo's style rite? Mwahhahaha....
Hmm...GSS soon i will come...pls wait up for me hor! =)
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