EMO FRM HEAD TO TOE ENTRY:
MAYB THE MOST EMO FOR THIS MTH :

(Hope read le..dun cry wor~) and dis theme song in my blog reali reflects wad i am gg thru nw.. wish all my frens can find happiness with ur loved ones le.. as long as u dun caught him/her red handed.. jus learn to be tolerant ba.. and to minimise conflicts..instead find ways to spice up ur "LOVE" and make effort frm thea.. SUSPICION is nt healthy le...though i reali hate to say rs nowadaes are very vulnerable le.. we mus face this fact ok ? *hugs*
HIM2 and HIM3 are/will be my "exclusive" memories in my life.. Thank you! Of cos i dun wish to hav him4 etc........ pengz.
(Suddenly gt an urge to let him2 read my blog hahaha..but i noe even i tell him, he oso wont read ba.. "feelin" la..if he reali read..i tink he will be touched too, for a normal human bein)..even a player oso has feelings.. though i dint reali term him as 1 yet le.

3 SEP 2008 1 yr in current working place ...so fast le..realise this yr reali passes very fast unknowingly le. Haiz...duno issit gd or bad..but tinking nw sep wad did i reali achieve again man ? =(

I rested @ hm whole weekend again...cos frm head to toe nt feelin very well, feverish, emo, stomach nt well ..and no choice i gotto forgo going to Darius's hse for the moon cake cele wif biaomei and some other ppl...haiz...reali very upset..i noe they sure angry wif me for so called bein a "pilot"..supposed to hav a pot luck and get together session le.. But w/o me i sure they oso njoyed themselves too....dis 2 daes i alone @ hm nt well and reali feel so pitiful..fed on cup noodles (and due to my blurness i dint realise water in the flask is nt boiled..diong~ ended up half cold noodles man) =.= 1 thing no mood go out , the other thing nt feelin very gd..everyone in my hse has their own programmes...luckily for dinner.. mum & sis still gt da bao for me.. *poor ger*.. (suffer in silence & nobody noes).... =_____=
Haha..duno why recently tink abt lotsa things again.. *emo* abt my life again... somehw feel dat nowadaes the rs reali cannot withstand any obstacles or any tests? ..as time goes by...it will fade..sorry peeps...nt that i pouring cold water on all of U..it only applies to ME la - I AM REALI TIRED OF COMMITTMENTS.. beautiful ending only appears in drama shows nt in real life..i mean for me la.. and time bein i intend to hav a long break to charge myself and to "shut" my heart for time bein.. secretly say here wor :
I INTEND TO LET WHOEVER I CAN GET HIS ATTN but he wont be able to hav any part of my heart hahahha.. enjoy the process of bein wooed (time bein empty window) and to prevent myself frm gettin hurt.. mind games are prohibited.. ok ok..meaning - u can see the fruit but u cant taste it..very miserable and bad rite? But no choice.. lidat den i can njoy life and be happy as i moved on.......... =) Its a selfish thing to do..but to me..rite nw.. i dun reali trust guys le..and i dun intend to giv whoever a chance..once i like "him" it be pure liking and dun wish tink so much! And i dun intend to let the other party noe. Me n him2 after last fri sms-es, we gradually understand each other better..duno is gd or bad..but ya can say nw - i am "addicted" in this process...actually besides sms-es , we dint progress any further jus dat i hav to admit..my liking for him grow each dae but i am still "awake" =p I am happy when he recognised all my effort to him and he reali feels touched..i can feel it.. its gd enugh..though he dun wan express it out i noe..
Be it he is a player or wad is nt impt..the most impt part i like him and if he is happy n xingfu..i will suppt him (behind)..i tink if i ever tell him dat...wonder wad his reaction will be ? Hurhur...
where gt such a silly woman exist in this world unless its filming ba..but i am jus ME..no need any outcome.. #____#
VERY HONEST CONFESSION :
Ok besides my ex.. (dun ask me why i used to love him so deeply..frm duno wad is love becomes real love , in it mixed wif sadness, disappointments, some happy moments & bad shadows)..my heart cant accept any other guy ..even there is a liking to other guys..end of the dae..i will make sure dat feelin "diminishes" in me and continue frm thea..
But since i am single nw and dunno y i reali start to like him2 so much, i tink when the time is "ripe" i will self destroy my feelings for him too and bac to frens. Since he is a carefree guy, i sure we can work things out fine. And i dunno y..recently i do notice he has this "glow" in him and makes him more attractive. 1 of my new ger frens Ah lian still tell me she oso starts to notice him2 (recently he keeps gg her office to find her boss mtg).. and finds him reali charming and wans make frens..(duno y when she tells me dat..i feel a tinge of sourness though i noe she is jus attracted by his looks but nt interested in him).. hmm i jealous ma? Nah she is gettin married soon..and my the other gal frens say no harm noein a fren and somemore so shuai...but they duno me n him2 rs.. i told him2 abt it..and he is so happy ppl singing his praises..i told him sure happy la..scully many gers out thea bio-in him dats y he has this "love glow" in him more n more obvious! The real reason to his glow remains unknown hahaha..only he himself noes..i noe definitely nt cos of ME. Of cos he dint reply me le...... i feel dat sometimes i am reali weird~ i keep liking those i am nt supposed to like and no outcome de category but i can reali click damn well with them.. and always tell myself as long as they are happy.. i am contented~ i duno y recently i will jus keep gg into my hp inbox (can be many times 1 dae) to see all sms-es him2 sent and jus feels so sweet reading them is reali gd enugh..be it frm his heart..erm sometimes i feel dis way..sometimes i jus feel dat he is jus making me float on cloud9 and dun mean a thing.. ~~ "sometimes i reali got to let loose" and dun tink so much..trying my best..him2 is rite in a way dat i giv myself too much load and worry too much abt lotsa things..nt my prob i oso worry hahaha.. bein an "angel" oso overperformed my duty le, ..eh..am i reali "torturing" myself by wantin to divert my attn & movin on? (though nw i am more expressive in my tots & feelings , will confide in frens in almost everything..but some worries in me and some tinking i still choose to "lock" it in my heart, feelin emo will still cry but the no. of times i shed tears alone has reali decreased..i swear!)
Ok..will find some nice mVS and share here.. time to rest my eyes le.

PS: thanks to my sub cons dat i received yummy mooncakes esp the ones frm Raffles Hotel - champagne wif rich white chocs....mayb i am destined can only eat n njoy myself in office...sorry Biaomei n Darius for nt turning up yest.. i noe u all mus be ANGRY but i oso cant help it! Sorry~