Below are my emo entries :
CAN I SHOUT? I WANNA SETTLE DWN TOO..THOUGH FOR NW I AM TOTALI SCARED AND LOST FAITH IN RS..CONTRADICTING RITE? I DAMN IT - MISS HIM2 STILL! hurhur~nxt yr 29yrs OLD liao .. though many ppl say i looked like 26 only..but Cmon I gotta face the fact..and slowly feelin the vibes.. the SCARED TO BE ALONE fear comin on very strongly..where is my MR RITE? ya even I said 3 yrs den settle dwn for marriage or a norm rs..just wanna lie and convince myself @ dis pt - study 1st, settle dwn later..but my dearies all encouraged me to give other gd guys chances, but i am reali tired! And i somehw dun believe a guy can b 100% faithful to me =X My nxt bf aka HB ..they mus all hav thumbs up ..so even he is a borin breed, i oso hav to accept n marry him..most impt he will love me with all his heart and wont let me dwn and they wont worry i will suffer in my marriage! No more time to choose and hiam le JEN! PLS LOWER DWN UR EXPECTATIONS K! Whether i do love him dat much..well..time will tell or i shld always believe this old sayin : Being Loved and Gt Ppl waiting for u outta always such a blissful thing den VICE VERSA!
Soooooooooooo ....=/
Why should i "settle" just for convenience....i want the best of me, that is why i am still waiting for that special one....after all you live only once..so why not live your best life!!
I'd rather be alone than to be with someone who I don't think I should be with! What do you think? Am i nt entitled to a norm and simple rs..i always dun ask much oso wad..forever so stupid..puttin others b4 me!
It's better to be alone rather than be with someone you don't think you should be with! Singlehood is better too!! Lesser problems. Flings ,flirtatious sms-es no harm but i reali hope no more saga like him2 and me. Recently GQ went reservist and kept sms me..i dint reply much. He damn funny la..Serene came to "tour" my office and lied to my sub-cons she would be replacing me - happened to be G coy de..he can call me up nxt dae when i on leave and and somehw confessed to me , ask me dun leave, he liked me all along etc......I hear le very touched..but he MARRIED le..so i felt the chills and turnoff instead..of cos I would treat it he talkin crap and flirtin with me again! =.= Serene and Trish oso tink his reaction way too over le as a fren! Hmmm..
Not everyone is blessed to be of calibre. I guess for 'average' ppl, leading regular lives, regular jobs, regular looks; its not so easy to just say "I will only be with someone worth my while, or be alone."
Someone comes along with a sincere heart to you, open and vulnerable, willing to commit their LIFE to you... is it so easy to turn them down because they are not the best we can have? Is the best not someone who sincerely loves u for who you are?
The most important thing in life is being happy. Whether u are with someone or not. i guess life is very unpredictable you will never know when someone better walks into your life, so why rush into things? :) think about it.
I don't think the issue is whether or not one is 'average' and should therefore 'settle'. We are all human at the end of the day with the same desire to be happy in life.
That said, everyone's also different - I don't think I could be in a relationship I'd settle for simply because whilst I believe I would need to be with someone who is my equal, I also would think it unfair to the guy I settled with - as you say, you feel sorry for him.
At the end of the day, its just the basic choice of a person deciding "I'd rather be with someone than be alone". I disagree, I'd rather be alone and live my life to its fullest, than be with someone and not.
Some stay single, some just 'settle'- time is UP some have arranged marriages and others marry out of love when they are still totali blinded in the process. We each have to find our own answers- our choices are half chance - a big risk!
Suddenly wanna jot this dwn b4 i got STM lo.. haiz.
04 Dec 09 - Hope him2 hav a blissful marriage! Frm the pics, can tell they a pair of happily ever after pair! I reali felt so tempted to mit him on his bachelor nite..i tot i would relent to him..but i guess i am quite a hard nut to crack. I noe besides hw to protect myself and i am damn rational LOL. I am surprised him2 asked me to mit him - well whether where we would end up @ or wad we b doin.. i guess i noe the ans. I told him i wanna forget him and treat him as a gd buddy and dun wan make our closure a drama rama saga..or worse, I may reali feel so HURT after meetin him..I nvr reali tell any1..whether he only gt the tot wanna jus bed me or...only he noes the ans..but guys are guys rite! I hav my dignity and dun wan to let him reali take me for granted too! I am glad he did respect my decison..i tot most guys @ dis pt..if they still cant get wad they wan..they will jus shut u off in a stunning way - eg.. dun act elegant la..u like me sure wont mind go hotel wif me etc..eh pls la..i dun hav time for ur 1001 reasons..etc..but lucky he nt this kind.. ! Of cos only he noes the ans!
I tot i be able to take it..but thanks to my 2 darling gfs who kept me acc on dis way- K -ing and with my gan mao and all..i still njoyed myself ( nt able to sing at all lo) @ the new K Suites Bugis Iluma and the dinner @ Vivo and lastly helpin me pass time and kept tokin to me and divertin me the whole dae. Ah Na - nw u preggy with the 2nd one, stressed in ur new job..i choose nt to let u worry abt me so much and dint reali update u nw le. Take care of ur health! Hugs. Of cos i noe U are 2000% be thea for me too togther wif Justin =)
Thank you darlings - Serene and Trish. I am jus 1 stupid and simple contented woman. Seein him2 weddin fotos.. i only gt this sudden tot!
I OSO WANNA GET MARRIED..AND ALWAYS WONDERED HW I WOULD LOOK LIKE WHEN I AM A BRIDE MYSELF! Mayb dat dae wont come or soon...no one noes.. i jus hope I oso can be a xingfu woman..ha i tink when its my turn..the weddin preps wont b too tedious cos i am nt a rookie @ dis! I am sure ur honeymmon gonna b a big boom man in Switzerland! I dint noe and expect i will reali fall for him2..arghhhhhhhhhh! Dis kind of feelin...*ouch!*
Emo abt this..cos after Serene Sis went bac..and me 1st time sendin her off alone..I felt so emo and almost teared while hugging her! Seeing her back diminished further frm my sight when she stepped into the DEPARTURE HALL.. i felt so lonely..u can call me crazy gal..but 1st time i felt it so strong..! Mayb dis time round, we reali mit up more and spent lotsa quality time togther and noein I needa mug for exams, cleared my work...I would still make effort to mit her ! Weekends gonna be burnt for OT !
Will update my blog soon..prolly after my exams on 21 dec..I scouting for a netbk oso..ya ya after donkey yrs of lamentin - I CAN FINALLY HAV MY OWN LAPPIE! =)
My sch fees oso cleared..upcomin 1mth bonus gonna splurged on my darlings who loved me to the core! 10Q HSBC AND UOB bank for being lendin a big helpin hand for my study loans. Dis 3 yrs..I gonna cough out a sum to repay ur mthly kindness to me ! Since i noe hw bloody hard to get my loans approved, i will mug harder for exams..emo later lo.
Comin up : countin dwn though i hated to do so..10 more daes Trish flyin to US wif HB for 2yrs..sincerely wished her all the best.. nt ez Sis! But i will try all my best to standby my lappie n webcam wif u often even wif no makeup hurhur! No excuse since i be havin mine ! Waitin for my blood sis to help go thru the specs..and after 21 dec..I will chiong to buy 1 and zhng mei mei too.. Lookin fwd to 1 more last hiao-in session wif U..i tink this time I gg airport alone to send u off...i will jus cry lor..Since our CPC army daes we oso dun tok much and yrs jus passed..i dint expect I would be so attached to U NW..its FATE we knew each other and we can be yakkin on phone for hrs and always willing to spend time with me online/ sms / when I'm dwn and out! =) Thanks gal! Cos u are quite the least expected we can come so close as secret dating partners in crime to my precious darling sista too..always ready to xplore new chillin-out places. I will remember all ur precious advices you had given me..dun worry, no matter wad happens..I am still the RATIONAL JEN =) I strongly believe distance is nt a prob..it only depends u wanna make dat effort, period! I am learnin to blog in a shorter and precise way! Needs time..=) I needed time to heal frm all dis..work stress, pre-exam worries and of cos heal my HEART! Thank god i still hav a mthly pay !
*fighting and gambette* together Serene and Trish..aiyo bloggin these..i oredi felt so emo abt the part u leaving and wanna cry liao! =S
Come and go - I hated this ! Serene bac in Sid, Trish flyin to US, Elvin comin bac on 15 dec frm Africa.. =S
Tomoro gg Yvonne's thea to do hair..ya tink will perm again..kinda gt used liao..jus dat I wanna more VOL VOL VOL..pls! Let her pair of magic hands do the work and i will bring my notes to kill time for the past 5 hrs! Hurhur!
Pls give me all the gd luck and energy to go ON and On for nw..@ least till 21 dec k!
Oops..gotta go bac to study nw!
Mr Accounting - 19 dec and Biz Law 21 dec..pls hav mercy on xiao nu zi can? I can barely breathe and forcin myself to go on lor! Crucial timing of life and death to fight the battle - 7-10 pm =C
Arghhhh..wrote so much on my pre-empt Biz law essay ans..my Biz law lecturer can still say write longer and aim for A. 1 essay - 12 mks.. I can get 7 oredi happy like a kid gettin his fav toy dat kind of joy le..duh! *pulls hair* After dis, 600 passes smiling @ me to rush up and adhoc paperwork..and guess wad 21 dec, i gt mthly board mtg..my asst mgr can tell me if Paige cant rep me..i may hav to come bac awhile since my exams late evening...Piangz..i needa time to digest and rest my mind! Somemore its biz law paper lo..can i kill myself or kill him ar? So insensitive rite? I guess I will LL go bac lo and take half dae go hm..lucky i stay near ! if nt i so gonna blame him and ABCDEFGXYZ@@ all e way till i get my grades for my exams! Ya..upcomin xmas lunch..JEN MUS co-ordinate! Arghhhh x 10000000000!
A "pass" jiu hao le..=)
Sorry for typo..no time to edit!
Hee my new hair as belowand DIY nails..so proud of them..though nt so pro la..learning ma..after exams will
do some research on nails..to divert me and mayb i feel happier!
Tks Yvonne for using ur magic hands and make me look and feel younger once again and MEI MEI hee =)
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