Mayb I shld go buy 4D...while i was msn with Trish - suddenly i see a pop out window !
its HIM2..i dare nt believe my eyes..he rarely come online. He asked hw hav i been..I told him bz wif work and studies..I dint expect he will still care to ask abt me and he told me he mayb leavin his coy cos very stressed and more workload..he cannot tahan anymore..if its nt the pay he might leave le. He told me he would inform me b4 he left and we are still frens..den I jus replied got gd offer jus go ..and spend more time with his wife..he said if he reali going off will sure inform me! Den suddenly w/o a bye..he went offline. I guess its his wife bac or wad..funny lo he no nid risk ma..he could hav sms me tomoro or wad ba! I havin the jitters nw..cos he reali going far frm my sight soon..though I dun see him ard in the yard..haiz. Everydae walked past jus to hope to see him or he drove by.. =S

I feeling so mixed up nw..happy he at least inform me and reali treat me as buddy..sad dat i got no confidence can keep in contact with him..frm the way i see..he reali devoted to his wife for nw! Shld be fine for us nw..our mindset is clear! Mayb he is dat kind reali after married le be gd hb like my idol Nic Tse who used to be a playboi..oh ya congrats to him becomin a dad again soon - yesh a son again =)

I jus cant help want to paste our msn conversation here though its stupid! But its my own blog wad! Let me jus vent it in here! Its reali like a full moon thingy he will msn me leh..or mayb happen he come online tok to frens ba..dat was like 5mins only! I wonder he reali so scared of his wife? msn fren cannot meh? Recently i kept tinkin and dreamin bad things abt him2..i tot at least tok 5mins oso gd ma..or see him awhile or frm far..who noes he reali msn le !! *contented* I have seen all his honeymoon pics mostly dun hav 2 of them de..but i am happy for them sincerely! I wont sms him at work for time being given he so bz.


Jere says:



Hello.


^ Ah Jen^ says:


hi


Jere says:


How've u been?


^ Ah Jen^ says:


bz with work and studies


whoa u will online de


Jere says:


Y not?


^ Ah Jen^ says:


cos tot u be bz


u told me u rarely log in le


evrydae i ot if i gt no class


Jere says:


I can't be bothered to stay.


^ Ah Jen^ says:


ok


i noe urs more tough


gd to go hm rest oso


Jere says:


Might leave sooner than I think.


^ Ah Jen^ says:


i gt many passes


u mean leave coy? 


Jere says:


Yup.y not right?


But dun speculate just yet la.k?


^ Ah Jen^ says:


ok


at least leave mus tell me le k


if gt better offer go ahead


=)


and can spend more time wif ur wife oso gd ma


ur this job reali so taxin - no dae no nite!


Jere says:


Yup.

And suddenly he jus faster offline!!!! If he dun sms me tomoro..i shall nt!! Its like suddenly we wanna tok but time and place nt rite! =X Or he came online jus to tell me dis? I dun wana tink so much! Mus focus focus my POA paper! Argggh!
Duno his leavin to be is gd for me..but i noe i will be very sad! I duno hw i shld reali react when he comes and say goodbye to me..wad shall i do? *drama* i hope nt!
A farewell hug ba! mayb a pic togther again in his cv..duno duno..headache! *pull hair*

I am a total failure! I dint noe i will like him or he jus came @ that time as a emotional suppt for my ex and EL. Mayb Mariah Carey Bye Bye reali suits us! Its still his ringing tone if he called me..it wont change even he leaves..i shall post the song when he leaves..i hope nt so soon at least after jun can? *cross fingers*

Seems a norm and casual conversation but it means alot to me! I noe i am jus stupid but i am lidat..selfless liking as always, dun ask for rewards/outcome!

Ah Na & dearies - u all can scold me le..but i jus wan write out..I have been keepin in me ..needa let it out if nt i tink i will reali hwwww! *depressed* ..i noe myself..it will take a long time to forget him2 even he gt kid nw!

If possible..i reali dun wish to go thru liking someone again !! *tired* I wonder hw many entries on him2 so far..shall go bac previous entries and reminisce. Memories are always so sweet and unforgettable! Mayb soon reali no more entries of him2!!