Whoa i reali dint realise time passes so fast despite i keep whining abt wad kinda life i am leading .. ! I read thru frens blogs and realise no matter hw bz they are mostly..they still will update ...dis few mths of entries i shall nt dig bac my memory space in my mind le...everythin b sweet n brisk ba!

Suddenly jus feel like wanna blog bac..cos been quite emo and heavily burdened by lotsa things mainly $$$$$$$..its drivin me mad and i dun feel like talkin to any1 abt it cos there is no solution. (My beloved Dear PK - yesh finally found a normal status and tall guy who loves me so much, nvr felt so secured wif a guy b4, thus he will fill up most of my upcomin entries) ...upcomin shift office! Where gt ppl shift on 1 dae of the 7mth? But its MD decision so LL gotta follow lo.. =( But we 2 depts gt our own bai bai session..so hope everythin can turn out well. Hmm bear wif it with pcs here n thea of my entries..too many to blog..hw i wish i gt a copywriter or robot to help me..! =.=

Those of U who hav been followin close with my life.. i will jus upload pics and the story epicts frm thea alright! I am oso lost where to start frm!

1st : I am finally wanted by HIM - my PK darling on 27 Mar =) See below (previous chats wif my darlings abt HIM)..read bac reali so funny and u can noe hw we end up togther and nw everyone says i am a xingfu nu ren and so loved by HIM. I finally found a guy who loves me more den i do! But well love isnt anythin.. I am fully aware! =S I AM DEFINITELY NT BLINDED OR SO RUSH TO SETTLE DWN WITH HIM! He reali makes me feel dat he is the one and can take care of me..plus wadeva he had done for me and his sincere efforts.. I nt able to list dwn all of our LOVE DISCUSSION but we definitely nt jus a pair of lovebirds who dun tink far for our future..I shld say he is a man who plans well.. whether can execute on time in future ..@ least he dun jus talk or nua thea like my ex.. - open mouth, sit thea and wait for $$ to drop dwn frm the sky. Saw my ex weddin foto shoots..prolly I gt PK nw and long forgotten him..I AM NT AFFECTED @ ALL..JUS HOPE HE REALI CAN CHANGE INTO A BETTER MAN BA!!

My drama stories : Sorry quite broken eng and typo error!

Scene 1 :

gt this guy PK used to be frm TAOs restaurant chasin me..he single oso la..if u gt see my fb wall den u will see some guy writin on my wall!

I feel so bad towards him
i dint noe he love me dat deep
=(
i am reali a bad ger
yest I met my gf, Mavis for dinner
anywae he worked till 9pm oso ma cant mit me ..
after dinner we gals went alley bar to chill and drink
i drank alot of beer, den i jus casual ask him wan come mit me..oredi 10 plus @ nite
norm i dun ask him come dwn de
yest was my 9yrs thingy - 24 mar
den i gg to low batt again
and my gf de bf sendin her hm
i b alone
PK worried
so i ask wan come dwn ma cos i oso duno wad time go bac
den he oso bad dae at work
so i joke mayb see me better ba
he reali came dwn..saw my gf mavis tok to her abit den we walked her to her bf car
den in the cab..pk see me wanna cry lidat
he v shocked 9yrs I can abit affected..prolly I drank oso ba..i nt sad jus dun tok much
and duno hw to an wei me
but reachin my hse den i finally jus lie on his shoulder for 5mins..but he very happy le..
he asked me y dun lie on it once on the cab
den at hm we tok on the phone
suddenly he emo nt me le
he tok to me v blurry
i asked zzz?
he said he cannot take it


work v stress..he learning all the operations , nxt time wan take over drivin sch
tot he has everything me, job..
den he v upset and told me he broke dwn le
chase me till xingku cos i always dint reali open myself up
meaning he hasnt done enugh to chase me or giv me happiness


i find abit kua zhang
but he says he reali love me..and no guy evr cried over me b4 le… =X
ut nw he seems like we can nvr b togth soon
 cos he tinks i still like my ex
explained to him..its the time wasted and i hated myself for tellin him and askin him come dwn
tot he bad dae wanna see me better ba


I dun like my ex anymore la
jus tink bac hw stupid i am dats all
waste youth on him for so long


Scene 2 :


PK touched my face yest
asked me dun cry and he b thea for me no matter wad
he will help me forget my pain
seein i lidat he heart pain


den he happen log in his i phone on cab


den i saw his fb shouout............sayin when he dwn , needed the gal beside him but she nt thea..and nxt shoutout was : if he can choose, he rather choose some1 to love him..

i felt so apologetic lo
 i asked him cannot dun chase me rite?
he so sad lo


i felt so sorry till i wanna go his hse to confrnt him le


he dun wan me go..say wait he dun let me go hw?


i say he very extreme


chase me is so stress cos i nvr open up


den dun chase le


he says he always like to try his best until reali cannot


he noes i am makin effort too


dint totally reject him


but he felt he nvr do enugh


cos i havent gt feelings yet


i say certian things no nid so precise rite?


so work stress


i cant jus accept him lidat and when things dun work as wad he expects ..it b like a dream to me when its all over
he says as long as i feel for him


he will do his best


cos he v stress abt work ba


need a gf beside to comfort him


but i am nt thea!


cos i nvr reali njoy the datin process


i keep pushin him away..
he reali abit childish and abit TOO IMPATIENT..

Scene 3 :

mit Kris n HB for dinner @ HV for some jap ramen..den PK came find me..den we went boat quat TCC..Kris and Hb passed him..say frm 1st impression he reali so much better den my ex.



Den after dat me and PK jus took a walk along boat quay..wanna go Clarke quay..suddenly we both so lost den walked 1 big round le..

Den end up go forbidden city drink …me n him had 1 bottle of beer and dats it..we dint reali talk jus njoy the music den shared cab hm..


y drama le..i sent him hm den my cab gg on expressway..he called me ask me where am I ..can u turn..norm he wont ask and I oso duno y I ask uncle U turn lo..


Den see him again he asked y I reali come bac..cos all of a sudden he nt prep to see me.. =S..


we had a long tok at his hse downstairs , I very angry said den ask me come bac for wad..he said I nvr giv him prep..den he asked me anything to tell him I said NO.
Den he took my bag wanna send me take cab..i refused..i sat thea..v angry!


He sat beside me den ask wad I wan..oredi dun wan pressurize me le..wad can he do? I said den stop chasin me la..pek chek le..den he angry says he oredi work v stress and I am like nt givin him chance..he reali likes me etc…though he dun believe love @ 1st sight but this time he said – the few times I went..he told me norm he and other staff and Leda will discuss like gt mei nu come eat @ taos etc…….den Leda still tell him me and him compatible..and PK told Leda dat he set his eyes on me..he nvr felt dat strong b4!


Ok when we downstairs, I told him my considerations and wad I wan..and he gg too fast to chase me etc..he finally ming bai wad I meant..den he told me if he cant get me on fb, he will try ways to find me..if reali cannot..mayb he reali fated to get a foreigner gf..he always tink dat SG gals are v demandin and possessive and materialistic..till he saw me..he said the few sentences we tok @ taos..he can sense I am nt!


Den v drama la..duno talk till wad..we talked frm 1am to 4am until I am so tired ..he oso..gt few times he pek chek with me den tell me he nt gg to giv me pressure cos I cant forget my past rs..i told nt my ex I cant forget..i scared get hurt again..den he finally realize wad my fear..and said we can nvr b togth le cos I will nvr focus on PK and our new rs..


I reali almost cry =( but I put fake eyelash den I cant..i keep pushin him away dun cahse me anymore..both of us so tong ku..and he only chase 2 wks..and so stress @ work..wrong time..he said he cared dats y he felt so pek chek and abit impatient wanna noe whether I am interested in the 1st place cos he dun like 1 sided.. and after 2 yrs..he finally found some1 he likes.. so he may appear to be at a loss oso!


Den he kneel dwn in frnt of me ,suddenly hug me asked me take care..he nt gg to sms/call..if I wan see him jus call him he will still come out..den he stood up and left..i duno y..i go hug him ask him be patient dun go can…I do like him de la..den he so shocked…den we hugged..den I so tired..and he worried I go bac alone..so I stayed over his hse..


He zzz matresss..i zzz on bed..he dint touch me..nxt morn send me hm..he said he reali happy cos he finally noe wad my fears and wad..and he took it as I accept him..i said I accepted his chasin la..i say he reali brk record..cos he reali touched me..he take it I reali accepted him..


And I am v happy he nt possessive and giv me space..i go out with frens..he jus called 2 times make sure I am ok and sms me if wan him send hm..jus tell him..i go out with my guy fren Manfred for movie he oso ok..


Duno wad to say and duno y I will behave towards PK..


And he supposedly worked yest..he so happy he over zzz LOL..and took no pay lve..i am so guilty lo.


Final Scene :

PK darling finally mit up with my dearies and i can prudly say this time round they have fully accepted him! His upcomin performance very crucial for this 7-9 Aug Malacca Trip. Justin and Ah Na will further monitor him! Hurhur lucky he wont get to see this blog! He dun hav internet access @ hm and duno my blog existed..too many wrong entries and things he nt supposedly to noe...! HE bot a car and finally fulfilled my long term iwsh - bf to own a car - 1.6 litrre black NISSAN SUNNY .. he bot for me even he noes he b struggling - we went test dr @ his fren thea and the vehicle plate happens to be 2930 ..and he is so happy and bot it... drove to my sch to wait for me and gav me a pre bdae surprise! *touched cos he rem i prefer lack cars oso* He deem the car as our destiny..ya when it comes to me..he always make impromptu decision and he tinks as long as i am happy he will too! Where to find sucha guy, i am totali speechless for his undyin high voltage luv...eg.. he can come bring me see doc @ 6am on a weekend and took unpaid lve , cos he worrid abt my gastric condition..and ya he says the car is my bdae gift and after dat he totali no $ buy me gift..but i still get a bouquet of blue roses frm him and arranged a hotel stayout. For his bdae.. i oso hav a simple cele @ a hotel too! He is nt earnin much nw ...my salary is higher..so when we 1st quaralled over the extend of payin when gg out and gettin gifts for 1st 2 mths cele anniversary..he reali felt so uncomfy dat he dun wan to sponge on me.. i oso bring up past issues like - tactless reply like : my ex earn much , he nt faithful...u dun earn much but u giv me 100% love n attn! Den he will jus keep quiet in the train / cab (when no car) in the train i talkin to him on the hp..he hear ppl sneeze will tink its me esp durin my exam periods..he damn sweet de always wan mit me @ city hall mrt or braddell last cabin to jus help me carry my heavy bag hm and after luggin to my hse dwnstairs..he would say a quick bye and walked off..reached mrt will auto call me to chat..and we chatted for wks..dat time gt 3 exam papers..he always chat with me to relieve my stress and after dat asked me get bac to study again, ,asked his mum make me abrley, buy me food when i am sick or sad , try do the simplest yet touchin things to cheer me up.. and so on till gt car nw..if we hav a tiff nw, he will jus focus on drivin..i simply hate it when he willl always check my wallet..make sure i gt enugh $ to eat and mit frens..but i told him since i studyin..i dun go out often.. i oso dun wan him dun hav $ to eat.. his pay can say all pay up for his hsehold expenses , hp bills etc........ya even he came frm a well-to-do family..but he dun wan his old parents to worry abt him and take their $$ ..esp his mum ..can worry abt 1 of her kids and cant zzz well if she comes to noe they are havin probs! Nt dat i am feedin him but his meagre pay reali cant survive..of cos go out datin he will still pay la.. i dun mind struggle nw with him somemore gt car nw.. he is lookin for better pay jobs..but since his quali nt high..sometimes he felt pessimistic too..i still nvr stop helpin him to send in more resumes. Dat dae he felt so dwn..i acc him gorge on late night dinner and drank beer @ his place..sometimes he wanna me over to console him..but his tenants ard..nt conveneient..gt 3 guys stayin with him cos he been single for 2 yrs oso le..if i am a gal stayin over.. I oso feel uneasy!

Went wif him & family to attend his 4th sis weddin - her hubby is a baker thea.whoa rite and i heard frm dear his jie fu can real bake gd bread.. oh he gt 4 sistas..he is the only son and youngest! Lucky nt spoilt n pampered kind! This Tw trip..both of us were bb sitters..so we dint get to move ard..thanks to the rainy season and the plce we tompang to live (his jie fu's fren condo unit - his jie fu new condo unit jus 1 lvl dwn..still under construction) - he very honest n nice chap..his sis reali xingfu..this trip very worth cos i get to bond with everyone esp his little nephew and nieces..see pics ba! Ya its too fast but in a way he proposed to me in TW ..mayb i m a simple gal.. and touched by his sincerity, i nodded hurhur.
His sis weddin was held at a full of warmth church, me n dear oso helped in deco the place abit.
Dear - i shall nt deem him as HIM3 cos i wan stop all dis..i deleted him2 no frm my hp and stop myself frm checkin his fb profile..and i succeded 98%... but 1 thing i noe..i hav gotten over him totali and even hao lian sent 1 last sms to him say i am happily attached..we cant ai mei sms anymore..to b fair to my guy..he oso agreed!

Heaven gav me a gd man but rite nw mayb is our test of time... financial burden we gotta carry esp after gt car.. so many costs ..i oso dun earn much..to help him tide thru.. i oso start to set aside my budget monthly..i long time no hold a shoppin bag or hiao wif frens le.. partly cos of studies..nw is oso dun wish spend much $$ ..all for him and all for my own sake! He always worry i nvr eat, nvr zzz well, bully by ppl , stress @ work/studies.. i oso dun hanker his future assets and i am oso nt totally payin for him..though he wanna ROM wif me and wanna apply BTO flat with me , his mum oso helpin him to solve his current TPY flat.. i nvr see all dis coming..i always tink dis 2 yrs i be focusin @ work and studies..we are simple and contented pair! Other ppl dun understand...but i noe can le! Jia you ba..hope things would be better after he found a better job! Seein him lidat.. i oso sometimes and jus can cry out suddenly @ work when i oso stressed @ work, nw nid to report to 2 bosses.. current 1 bo chup n blur..another one act garang grrrrrrrrrrr =( I seriously hate PAY dae cos its the DAE me n him hav to count our budget , bills etc..we behave like married couple rite!! I noe i can dun bother abt his stuffs cos we nt officially ROM yet but seein him lidat.. i reali very heart pain! I oredi went all out to help frens , dun mention he my darling..=S No one will noe hw he will treat me in future..@ least for nw i noe i can go thru hardships n share happiness wif him.. we are nt bounded by $ topics anymore..anythin oso can talk! I jus cant stop him frm spot checkin my wallet ..cos if i gave him some $ to eat..he will make sure i wont starve ! I noe he is nt dat kind who takes me for granted. 
I told him when he havin a better situation, den pamper me bac ba....i feel pek chek when we can actuali mit everydae nw gt car..he wan save $ ..he rather after work go hm eat magi mee den save the $ for our nxt date...i feel so so heart pain..i miss him, i wan see him.. he dun wan cos he dun wan me to pay! Even jus a movie..he nt totally broke le for the mth but to wait for nxt dae is hell of a torture for him!! And i gt my stupid loans to clear for another 3 yrs lidat.. i am so helpless and agree dun mit..we dun tok much on the phone nw cos he norm zzz early unless i stay over.. or he drive hm den call me..talked till he hm den he go bathe n zzz le..he is some1 who needs to hav lotsa zzz to hav energy nxt dae. Todae he da bao lunch for me noein raining and i wanna zzz..yest he gav me 99 hearts for our 4mth anniversary - he drove to my office main gate..he came up wif a white lie ask me wake him up..so dat he can fold the stars..so silly rite! And he dint sleep well...we dint cele cos he tired after work..jus came fetch me hm, acc him eat simple dinner and send me hm after dat..b4 dat , i mit Biaomei n bf for dinner...when i on lve study for exams..he worked noon..sure buy me bfast b4 go work and purposely set alarm to wake me up or set alarm to remind him call me to zzz when i muggin till late..all his sweet tots n gestures..too many to describe.. i always tell him aiya datin so sweet ..married sure wont ..he always say he dun wan to be jus a datin sweet bf but a 24/7 sweet hb.. i say see when he b tired ba..nt everyone can do thruout..i went Ngee Ann to set up early for convention..he took lve send me thea and helped out oso! He said i motivate him to cherish his life and even love me more cos i sacrifice alot for him..both of us sometimes care for each other too much and lead to a tiff again.. nw i wont wanna tok to him..i will hug my rabbit plushie and face to him..say tok to rabbit, dun tok to me.. and after our tw trip eat n eat..i gain 3 kg..he gained 6kg hurhur..his temper improved alot compared when we 1st gt together le..........i reali hope dis time i am nt wrong abt man le! He tryin to cut dwn smokin..i tryin to be less emo and whine less.. though most of the time i choose to tear alone in my rm.


I finally dare to look fwd to my own marriage - he gt a complete and harmonious family and it acts as a confidence dat this guy i can risk my happiness to him..he is totali diff frm my ex..dun mention physical looks.. and he went thru so much to get JAY CHOU concert tics for me for 23 JUL - 1st show! Muackz.. Too bad cant get extra tics for my frens! But its his 1st time to attend concert and its our 1st concert..he promised me no matter hw har..he will bring me on short trips or holi yearly! Sorry gt many times i lied (i noe u hate liars) - but to make u less pressurised over the whole thing! I gt no choice! I believe Heaven wont let us suffer for long..see other couple can go long and faraway holi, go out shoppin on weekends..he felt dat he nt able provide me with all dis..but i dun need all dis for nw..though i cant stop myself envy other ppl lives.. hw come some gers no nid work/ study so hard can live a more carefree life! I am jus so contented as long can see him and spend quality time with him! Many ppl tink i dun online sure go datin..they are wrong.. i either zzz after work or emo-in alone in my rm! Haiz...even on msn i choose to appear offline oso!