Ya whole weekend nua-in @ hm and i can only use 1 word to describe - HEAVEN ! Long time nvr relax @ hm and jus surf net, listen to music, be couch potato (lucky me..lotsa nice shows), msn, read mags..woo.. see @ hm can oso be so busy! Yup, yest had a long chat wif Trish & Serene thru msn..thanks pretties ! 3 of us agreed..mostly guys dun wan be frens wif us..why, why, why ??! And my biggest prob is i treat them too nice.. and i will do some self-reflection!
Yup i am hardworking to change my blog skin hee..this one more easy to access..everything is jus thea openly and i like! Hope no more complaints!
Last nite had a nitemare over him2..i dreamt dat we were together and everywhere we go i am bein termed as his gf and he is so smug abt it...dun reali like the feeling.. feels *stressed* ..i remember in the dream, we kept gg rounding wif his frens and they approved i am the "one" haiz. Haha..i guess i missed him 2 much le can even dream abt him..cos on Fri can say he whole dae nvr sms me due to work. It wont happen and of cos i will nt be happy in reality, dun ask me y..I snoozed till 12pm den get out of bed..hurhur.. Due to the bad weather, i changed my mind abt going bac to work~ And guess wad..i can control myself frm nt sms-in him whole dae nt even a gd morn...hmm...good effort made le. *pat my shoulder*
Oh ya he did sms me yest update me abt he on cse and nt working for the nxt 2 sats... *sweet again* ^___________^ Lala...lala.. i oredi dun expect much frm him...noein he always dun sms me 1st unless its work.. i rather i dun make initiative..but u noe la..mostly my fingers are "disobedient"
Found some old sec frens thru facebk..cos frm wad i gather..most of my frens abandoned "Frenster" le..so i got to find them bac again. Browsing some frens profile and seein they are so happy and doin so well ..feels happy for them too esp Ms Mag. She reali deserves all this gd things ard her..duno why mayb is due to i dun like to voice out attitude or bo chup to explain, me n her drifted apart but i nvr forget her. Suddenly miss her so much! (well, hard to bring bac the closeness le, i guess, nvm la..if she is happy n xingfu.. i am contented)Den seein him2 frens posted their sec sch pics..makes me realise mayb i shld ask Justin and Ah na to do the same thing. Our "toot" and fugly look is so amusing lor. If i hav time..tink i will even put my childhood pics..me hor..chubby and oredi very hiao le.. dun play play...Reali so nvious some frens are doin so well, happliy married wif kids, successful career and some of them even got their own shops...*clap hands*..Doesnt mean u dint study hard cannot hav gd life..sometimes its the HIM u get den u can be xingfu.. of cos everyone has their own probs..pics can be deceivin sometimes..haiz. I noe it, can feel it and been thru it..Those who duno me well see me like xing fu wif my ex last time le..and who noes we hav been havin probs and we hav "ding dong ding dong" our rs for 8 yrs..whoa.. >_____< --------- sobz---------------- Sometimes i jus feel like scolding myself can i dun be so easily contented or over doin it.. end of the dae i say i am happy but in my heart - "emptiness" begins to slowly occupy me. But this character is inborn..wad to do.. AH JEN~ *use 2 hands to beat my 2sides of my face*
I am nt despo to find my HIM but i jus hope me n him2 dun drag too long. So coincidentally i did a dating test on facebk to see wad signs shld i date.
Result : Aries, Sagittarius - and and.....HIM2 is Sagi le..diong~ i always believe lotsa things are fated and events that happened gt a meaning behind.. but but..duno why after my ex i can reali sense dat him2 and me will be saying bye bye soon.. *rub chin* wad has to come has to come..so mayb after sept i will reali wake up frm my "storyland" liao. Wish me luck. Cannot say i wont be sad but at least can still be "好朋友" or 还是好朋友. *fingers crossed* Siao la..i wont cry, jus feel sad only.... am i destined to lead my life lidat and cannot be gd frens wif a guy? *scratch head* When can i hav a successful career...LOVE can wait..but i cannot wait too long for $$$ hurhur. Meanwhile oso hav to bao yang myself.. cannot be lazy le AH JEN.. I mus take gd care of myself.. health la, face la, fig la, work la = TIME & YOUTH =(
ok ok..dun wan be so emo..i will upload some new songs or MVs ba..stay tuned~
Tomoro boss gg to be bac frm his in-camp. Whoa 2 weeks jus passed and no freedom liao. And worse part tink gg to be busy and lots things to settle..
Oh long time dun hav Nic Tse movies on TV, gonna catch "Long Hu Men" @ 9pm on Channel U nw. Basically i am turn on to him when he is fighting and he havin a bad boi image..ya idol daes are over..he is oredi a DAD but hmm..well i jus adore him..heehee.
Male Celebs why i adore so much :
RAIN - dancing, acting, good bod, cool , acting wif fighting scenes
Nic Tse - bad boi image in reality and acting wif fighting scenes
Jay Chou - singing, playing piano, acting wif fighting scenes, dancing
Louis Koo - handsome face, good bod, acting wif fighting scenes, bad boi image
Takeshi Kaneshiro - handsome face, gd bod, cool, charming, his "electrocuted" eyes
Beckham - charming and gt a bad boi image, loves the way he kicks football
Alex To - cool, bad boi image, gd bod, singing and dancing
Aaron Kwok - dancing, bad boi image, acting wif fighting scenes

They are the "IMPT MEN" in my life...mwahahhahaha. Basically i like ah bengs wif gd bod and best noe hw to fight plus noe abit instrument? hahahhaha.. my requirement to my HIM and no one fits the bill..lol *roll on floor* mwaahhahahhaa.

Me n Trish intro this sweet song by Jerry Yan hahahhaha.. Both of us simply jus melt inside this advert =p I found another version frm the Taiwan drama show - Basketball Fire hee =)









我会很爱你 - Jerry Yan

初次见面就占据我心中
部署星空只为了你等候
每个角落 擦肩而过 被缘分捉弄
突然相遇在转角的街头
抬头感动我只想对你说
快乐难过 不能错过 对你的承诺
我不太浪漫 你说很习惯
我的肩膀给你很多安全感
握紧你的手 用全力向天空轻轻呐喊
我会很爱很爱你 一百个世纪
很爱很爱你 没人能代替
未来旅行 Walkman记录着爱情
我的心永远不变
我会很爱很爱你 黑夜到黎明
很爱很爱你 四季不休息
打开Walkman 随时就能听见你
Feel My Heart 我最爱最爱的你
突然相遇在转角的街头
抬头感动我只想对你说
快乐难过不能错过 对你的承诺
我不太浪漫 你说很习惯
我的肩膀给你很多安全感
握紧你的手 用全力向天空轻轻呐喊
我会很爱你 一百个世纪
很爱很爱你 没人能代替
未来旅行 Walkman记录着爱情
我的心永远不变
我会很爱你 黑夜到黎明
很爱很爱你 四季不休息
打开Walkman 随时就能听见你
Feel My Heart 我最爱最爱的你
我会很爱你 一百个世纪
很爱很爱你 没人能代替
未来旅行 Walkman记录着爱情
我的心永远不变
我会很爱你 用我的生命
很爱很爱你 你给我勇气
快乐寂寞走到幸福那一头
Feel My Heart

*rub chin*.. recently i keep updatin my blog hor is mostly my work and him2 neh..hurhur..
can't be helped cos everydae me n him2 many drama stories to share hahaha. I tink after our so-called rs rose to another level den he is so pro-active..ya it takes 2 hands to clap oso. =.=
Ok , busy as usual, but cos staying OT and i manage to clear lots of my paperwork. I AM NT A PERFECTIONIST but when it comes to work, i always wan to finish b4 gg hm and nxt dae focus on other stuffs..this explains why i am so devoted in my last rs.. diong~ *no link*
Ya ya...raining as usual and very cold..Trish says me n him2 reali make her shiver after she hears abt my so-called sweet happenings everydae lol.. plus the weather is a bonus too =p
ok this is wad happen.. we sms each other as usual in the morn..den i told him no nid make effort to mit me when he sms me - NT MEETIN YET ..i say i am contented if he can pop by when he free or reply my sms le..he as usual dint reply me la..den i continued do my work..den my hunch came again.. haha..when i was abt to sms him2 ard 9 plus..he suddenly appeared in frnt of me..i too shocked le..heart almost drop out.. and i am still emailing AH na abt somethin le..i told her my hunch very "zhun" ..she requested me giv her 4 numbers..cos i dreamt of el last nite..so i gave her both their car plate nos...hahahaha..if "tio" le..AH NA U MUS TREAT ME NICE FOOD!
Him2 ask me - my workers gt come ma ? I looked @ him and laughed and replied -
Eh my safety classes on MOn, wed and Fri..u duno meh ? Den he keep quiet..den he asked abt my office reno..i said done long ago le la..and showed him the new furniture..den he suddenly laughed and looked @ me..and says - eh nice le.. i told him nt my hse la..nice oso lidat.. *hilarious* i reali can't help but keep laughing..den after dat he asks me - busy ar? i looked @ him and say ya lo..hahhaha.. i noe he is asking the obvious but jus dun wan open his mouth and say - hey i come to see u le..hahhaha..but i noe the ans la. He came for 15 mins and left le and still tells me he very busy de.. *scratch hd*.. Den i sms him say nxt time if i alone in office no nid so jia jia..can jus openly talk to me le..he dun wan reply me again ..but i noe he noe can le..hurhur.. ya i am happy in this way..his pro-activeness really cheers me @ work..cos nw besides @ work, no one will reali come and talk to me and show concern when i needed it. I am kinda touched he came cos it was raining abit heavy le.. Ya 1 more thing to add - last time he will sms me and say eh i in mtg la those very unfriendly sms he will giv me..nw if i reali unaware he havin mtg, he will sms me and tell me..and cos he working @ site and i hav said b4 ..he talks abit loud on the phone sometimes and i always tell him i am nt his worker la.. recently if he called and hav to scold a worker, he will tell me - sorry ar..i am talking to my worker so abit loud den will after dat talk to me in a softer tone...nah...i am NT IN LOVE>> i jus njoy this so-called process nw that i feel dat its gettin sweeter each dae.. Bear with it, i tink the followin entries will hav him2 again..oops! *slap forehead*.. but ah na - i noe u are enjoying it to the fullest hurhur..! I am so motivated to go work nw cos we can sms each other.. I keep thinkin if he is playing with me, his behaviour cant be so funny & cartoon rite? (ANywae nt impt cos we nt gg to be togther - he did mention to mit me soon ba and says if we nvr try out, we wont noe ..i nvr reply him!)..unless he reali can "act so well"and is reali so natural..if anyone sees it will laugh and roll on the floor man!.. Ya got to admit..duno y everytime him2 walks in, the 1st thing i will look @ his orange coverall hahaha den slowly look up his face but sometimes he is like wind , by the time i looked up fully , he will say bb or rather jus left in a hurry. I hav to admit he reali look gd in dat..heh heh..cos its brite enugh for me to notice him..dats y la.. sometimes busy but seein those in "ORANGE" dat walk in , cant help but to see is it him..
So happy...Mooncake festival coming and i can hav nice snowskin moon cakes to eat le..jus dat this yr i only need to buy for my own family.. sighz and oso 1st time gg to cele with Darius n biaomei wif our pot luck session @ his "private property" oops...yummy~
Real lookin fwd le.. =)

Ok for Shanna dearie again hahahahha.. =p Bleah!
yup..last Sun went to the Bohai Ship tour @ my yard thea..got some snacks and best ar..Ben & Jerry ice cream..though its a small cup..everyone is only entitled to one per coupon. Haiz. If i noe boss nvr go, shall "kapok" his coupon heehee =p See pics.. ( i took with my Indian sub-cons and 2 of my Bangla safety officers & some other impt ppl frm yard) I went up the ship 2 times..kiasu hor..nt cos its gg to sail in 2 mths time and nt coming bac anymore..its becos of 1 of my safety officer who cannot make it for the 1st round. ANother thing gt to mention, this is the ship him2 has been working on everydae for past 2yrs way b4 i came here. Its reali a life time experience for me le..forgettin i am scared of height de, i followed everyone to take the so-called crate elevator to go onboard..the scenery is damn nice and i finally get to see and tour ard and understand more abt the operations of the ship. I get to noe frm my safety officer...their job is reali very tough gg up everydae to do inspection on workers and i can oso imagine him2 working scenario...reali nt easy.. *pat on their shoulder*.. *hectic environment*.. I oso get to see the control rm of the ship..whoa reali an eyesight..duno hw to describe...i can only say this ship is reali "nei you qian kun" le.... =) I slowly learnt that the proj my company is doin is reali so magnificent le. woots.. *thumbs up* and i hav no doubt my safety officers are reali doing a gd job everydae..
Well..while i was busy taking pics and strolling along the way..suddenly tot of him2 ...ya cos e day b4 he suddenly sms me to mit him soon and i feel so lost..reali mixed feelings..supposed to feel happy but scared i will lose him even as a fren..haiz...so in a way i rejected him hurhur!
Den ok i admit thruout the tour i was tinking abt him, hw i wish he is here beside me and can explain to me his working environment...but i noe its impossible to happen ...
Strangely, when i was abt to reach the exit of the ship, my heart beat very fast le..and suddenly i feel kinda my heartbeat is irregular..i tot its cos my phobia of height ba..den scully i saw 1 familiar face rite in frnt of me..i paused and stoned a while and strained my eyes to hav a closer look.. (i hiao la, wear shades so cannot see clearly who is who mwahhahahah)..To my shock, him2 was rite in frnt of me..i was too stunned for words..i dint realise i was standing behind him until someone called out to my safety officer and both of us happen to look @ same direction..we stoned awhile and i jus say - EH Hi, U HERE TOO...den took the elevator dwn to land. I dint see properly he was with his family or alone but i tink shld nt be alone lor.. My shipyard fren Rima wanted me to go up later to tour the ship but i was too excited...and who will guess dat him2 & Rima were in the same grp for touring...if i had nt insisted on gg up first..my dreams may come true ? hahaha.
After the tour ard 12 pm, went bck office to take a breather den continue part 2 of the tour with my another safety officer..so busy run here n thea..so tired..~ luckily company gt chartered bus to stop outside my office to fetch us inside the yard. The 2nd time i went , i accidentally dropped my glasses in the bus w/o noein it has dropped frm my pocket..sighz..cos i was still wearing my shades..After e 2nd round of foto session, i kinda no mood le and keep tinking mus find bac my glasses...began to worry alot and almost cry lo.. 1 of my safety officer Gazi very kind hearted ah boi accompanied me to wait for the incoming buses ( there were 3, but i forgot which bus i took so i asked the driver to help me call out 2 other uncles)..and it was drizzling ...after checking out 2 buses up n dwn and i cannot find my glasses...i almost cry lor..and wan go hm le...den lucky i insisted waiting for the 3rd bus..and viola...gt this handsome young guy - some co-ordinator of this event told me he saw my glasses and he has put @ the registration counter and ask me take the bus bac to the event wif him...i dared nt look @ him cos i am so ugly w/o specs..i dint ask his name too..yup, and i retrieved bac my glasses...thanks to him..and it started to rain heavily..Wanted to thank him after i put on my glasses...but he jus "disappeared" ..Mon reached office abit gan mao cos caught in the rain. *Achoo*
Hee..yest him2 so sweet morn drop my office come see me..he so cute le..so jia to ask me abt his workers cfm comin for cse @ in the noon and keep smiling at me..say though we no work liaise le i mus still keep him in the loop of all dis cses... i fully understand when someone wans to "frame" him @ work..and i told him if i can help him, i will lo. Den he left in a hurry.. i sms him issit reali come check the cses or see me? he says actually its jus an excuse to see me.. i feel so happy lo..hee. Yest he shared with me his work prob again..somehw i feel dat i am contented in this way again..call it crazy ba....he told me he wan to spend more time with me and i was shocked to hear dat..i told him can chat on phone ar..but he says he tinks he gt many things to tell me..of cos i hav my reservations too! This is the 3rd time we say wan mit but always nvr succeed..sometimes i tinking mayb he dun meant wad he say de..
Todae he called me and said cos raining he is unable to come and his " enemy uncle" is 1 step b4 him to see my safety officer so he nt convenient come..who noes dat uncle later part still flirt with me.. *annoyed*. Funny part is he says nxt time their office gt any gathering, he will ask him2 to bring me along..i told him i am nt close wif their ppl, only work liaise...and i keep tellin him him2 nvr giv me prob until the new 1 took over complicate things..after dat i called up him2 and we chatted awhile...which is so rare we can do that.he is angry for me dat the uncle is talkin crap la....i am happy once again hahahha.
Recently, raining ma..the feeling to hug him2 is so strong..of cos i nvr tell him la..and the feeling of losing him is oso gettin strong..mayb i hav to be prepared for the worst.. if reali happen..shanna no more drama series le..unless find new cast hahahha.
Oh ya..mus say this - my setup date wif Des considered ok la..cos i told the gers to let things happen naturally..ha wateva song i wan hear, Des all sing for me..well they all can sing very well...i guess i mus pull up my socks..
Lastly..wan add on recently very perturbed by my own sis...she chattin on the phone like i am transparent - very noisy and damn mushy...reali nt her to do that but i guess its LOVE =.= I duno when my volcano will erupt and tell her off to spare a tot for me...I can be open minded to her behaviour but i tink she is takin for granted le. And poor me suffering le...luckily recently worked till very tired and can fall asleep soon..and i tinking when my ex can giv up calling me ar..duh~

ok..thats all for todae..tink more drama episodes coming up! Hav to thank him2 for spicing up life and fill up the "emptiness" in me..but be it wan mit anot..i will tink carefully~
in my heart wan mit ..but on other side scared i will jus lose him lidat..ok shanna noes wad i mean la..hee =)

These few daes i slept b4 12 am jus to hope can wake up feeling more fresh and hav enugh energy & stamina to go work.. more n more stuffs..Boss so wu sim called me during his in-camp svc and asked me hw am i gettin on and of cos to noe updates frm office lo. He told me in Oct i will be tasked more impt stuffs..i asked him wads dat he jus say come bac den tell me duh~ I told him i gt less passes to do, less data entry but sub-cons still givin me probs cos some of them and their clerks gt language barrier as in i tell them to save the worker's foto to JPG format..they go bac and send another message...and the poor clerk of theirs dun understand eng..i told boss mus brush up on this when he comes back. Yeah tomoro going up the ship tour so excited..so happy my shipyard fren Rima oso gg...she is leavin soon le haiz. Boss asks me y i still nid go bac on weekends to clear my work..i told him cant simply to describe all le... =(
Ya 1 proj finishing and i can take a breather and finally can mit biaomei n Darius soon! So happy!
Oh gd news for me only - heehee.. ^_______________^
Yeah! Him2 is nt gg to Keppel for his new proj. He be @ Senoko, still near my office..so he says can travel back often to see me..he says he is so happy. He says recently both of us are too busy to sms and thanks for my understanding! I was taking a nap during lunch when i received his sms. Be it he takes up this proj cos of ME or coincidentally his boss assigned him, i am so happy & contented liao...wanted to ask him but doubt he will tell me hahahha.. so we can hav 3 more mths nw ! Nw i liaise wif his other colleague and he came yest to talk to me abt work and passed me the training form. He is oso chinese yup and younger hurhur.. Cos he told me its urgent to cfm the date and he forgot to leave his contact no, i called up him2 to ask for the guy's no. His reaction is so big - ask me y i wan his no ? I told him cos of work la..den he says can email ma i say the guy asks me to call him la..hahhaha..den i ask will him2 get to see him again..he immediately says ya he will help me pass msg no nid call the guy..funny rite? hahahhaa..den i carried on with my work until 730pm den i realised i am alone working man!
Ya..mon cfm gg KTV with my new frens - 1 of the ger Ah lian sent me a private email and asks me to giv Des a chance and to see me n him can work anot..she says he is reali a nice guy but a total blockhead de hahahhaha...den i tell her i like ah beng hahhahaha..she stunned! She can rite in frnt of me ask Des make ai xin bian dang for me, date me out, send me hm, sms me gd morn..totali is a piece of extinct wood..tsk tsk...reali cmi le... oops. Even i gt no him2 i rather be my own ba.. =___=
Well mon gg to be awkward for me but cos jus get to noe them..i guess no choice got to go rite and they recruited me as new member in their "clan" hurhur.. *cross fingers*

Hey updates again..du jia for my dearest Shanna hahaha..my ardent fan..thumbs up!
Ya la..office email oso nt convenient and nt free type so much ..so u jus see frm here la..hahaha.
Todae is a damn gd weather to Zzzzzzzz.. raining cats & dogs leh.. Cos boss nt ard 2 weeks..i guess sleep a little longer during lunch time shld be a small prob..hee =) Very tired and so busy @ work.. my malay engr says i finally show my true colors to my sub-cons by scolding them..i say i am still sweet as usual. Its they took me for granted and makes me boil. Hmph... =( Simple thing oso cannot do properly! Haiz..giv me more work after implementing the new working process.
Oh ya ...the board mtg for yest went on smoothly but still hav many things to learn..guess wad tink i too worried le..i overslept till 745am and rushed like mad in a cab to office lo... reached ard 830am cos i still need to doll up *groggy*
Yest him2 and me dint sms for whole dae cos both of us busy lo..until 5pm den received his 1st sms - hahaha.. ya its work le...but i still happy ! He asked me find bac my powerpt slides for my last safety carnival, he needs all info.I busy rushing work for boss ma though he nt ard.. after dat i help him check out everything and send all to him within 10mins..he is so amazed by my efficiency cos he needs it urgently..i told him i am like his secretary but FOC de..he sms me say he feels touched and says - dear thank you so much , reali appreciated..all my whole dae fatigue n stress bein covered up by his sms heehee.. i sms him thanks and no worries... =) Dat dae he wanted some personal ship pics..i went to mktin dept and get the pics he likes and helps him to laminate nice nice and giv him as a farewell gift.. He says he be coming bac le..but in case u noe... its jus talk , anywae i still do it willingly for him and even draw on the envelope as a farewell card for him..he is so happy seein it. He says whoa - gt cartoons so sweet le..den he wanted to go off..i forced him to see wad i draw hurhur...jus a norm cute icon and of cos my keroppi wei ta da qi and ask him take care for his new proj. An expression like this - a cute ah boi wif 3 strands of hair & expression dat looks like dis >___<
Todae in office email, i was tellin Serene sis dat even i put a stop to me n him2 current situation he dun stop i oso cant help jus be lidat nw.. but i am still rational!
Mayb todae raining den emo again.. i sms him2 say i am very happy n contented to see his sms everydae though mostly is work cos we actually dun hav much to talk..and i dun care in the sms say miss me, hugs, etc..is fake or serious de..i am jus happy and if he can come my office...my dae will be brightened..i noe i shld nt let him hav the upper hand .. but i am always true to my feelings..this is me lor.. and i told him even when we bac to frens again, i will still treat him gd and be thea for him when he needs me.. I am sure we can be very gd frens after dat..depends he wans anot...guess wad..he sms me say he duno wad to say but keep thanking me for bein so sweet...i noe its stupid to always sms him and care for him jus like my bf lidat... Duno issit i sensitive or he does it for me..i jus mention - whoa ur facebk gt captions so cute..within 2 daes..he deleted all captions le. Haha... he tells me he reali misses me cos i am reali very sweet and noein i dun expect much frm him, he appreciates me even more nw! I told him i do all dis nt to let him to like me more or wad..cos i am me...i noe many gers out thea may treat him gd or wad..but i am JEN!
I still told him i will be single very long le so dun worry abt get beaten up if he wans to call me out as fren in near future..he says i make him speechless..he nvr expect i turn out to be such a dearie hahahha.. *shy* I told him after he left, i nt gg to giv any chance to any other chinese sub-cons hurhur! Where gt a ger like me so stupid and easily happy de..mwahahhaaha..actually though he calls me dear and i reali feel so sweet...siao rite? As long as we dint go out and i tink he wont ba.. if EL sees this entry he be quite disappointed wif me cos i allow history repeat again in some way..but its only time bein..my dear fren. I oso duno wad reali him2 attracts me.. heh heh..
Well..talking abt Des.. ya one of my gal fren asks him to organise 1 outing and ask all of us out...i say i nt free nxt week..they keep telling me i mus go cos they wan welcome me as their new fren and still say its Des dae..i ask wad is dat..they jus keep urging me to go....somethin is fishy...i suspect they reali wan pair me up and Des seems so excited abt the KTV thingy...hmm..shall i go and act stupid?
Well...shanna..recently all entries are like meant for u de..u like juicy news ma..hope its up to ur liking. Thanks for ur time to read le..if my office can blog, i can be more efficient hahaha...erm..but too bad..shall update again..nw Serene sis say i gt more n more guys coming up which i dun wan la!

ZHAI NU NVR GO OUT EXCEPT WORK N WORK..so i will write all my feelings den.. haiz.

Duno why this whole week getting very easily irritated and lethargic..yup i still hav lots work to clear but somehw in my heart jus feel so "vexed"... u can imagine somemore "my da yi ma" first dae le..*pain + fed up + work stress+ sub cons givin me prob + issit him1 keep calling - even its jus like 1 dae 1 call oso pisses me off. I nt going to praise him for making effort nt to call but everytime my hp ID shows his name and no..i jus feel like answering the phone and scold %##% & jus slam dwn, but its waste of time & breath..can some fairy god-mother make him1 disappear frm my life or jus help him find another gal ? I tot of changing number but i reali like this no... we see hw it goes ba.. MY uncle is asking me y my face looks so serious n sour each dae though i gt make effort to doll up. Though i am jus a mrt stn away frm hm and worked so late..he asks me let who see ar? =___= and i told him the reason lo..he feels kinda pissed off and says if he can do anything to help me "fan off" him1..he will lor but this is still my own personal issue. Luckily still hav him such a gd listener. Recently keep joining him and some frens @ our mini " yellow box" and seems like they are tryin to pair me wif one of the guys called Des. Can make frens la but i always act blur when they ask Des to sit near to me or always wan me take pic with him. Dat dae we did take once le but its nt nice cos its taken when we are nt prepared, but still send to him lo as he requested..he even wan those i took wif uncle and my bangla engr..he says he wan keep but i told him siao ar..dun hav him le..hahaha. And so coincidentally, all of us stayed betw semb- wdls le except uncle. Des is the mid - Admiralty. He says he may buy a car & can fetch we 4 gals to work but the 3 gals say fetch me gd enugh le..( All 3 gals gt bf- envious~ , 1 even gettin married nxt Jan) duh~ well Des is oso nt tall like him2 haha.. y are SG guys all shrinking ? And des can join in and say aiya y tell Jen..she noes my plan le haha...well i jus act blur thruout ..anyway my mind oso whilrling round & round, dun reali hav the mood to listen to them.. Wau lau lidat i cannot find bf le..even i dun mind shorter guys ( diff cannot be too jia lat), they oso mind lor. Sobz. >""<
Todae i sms him2 i nt feeling well and moody..he oso dint reply my sms..ya la i noe he busy so i sms ..he told me he gt see all my sms sometimes too busy to reply or nt convenient @ wrk. Den i jus told him passes ready..and he suddenly sms me dun giv any1 the passes cos he wans collect personally and still say cos its to let me see him hahaha..Such a lame and corny and kns words frm his mouth still makes me happy though be it sweet talk..i jus need this "antidote" @ dat point..ya call me crazy or wad ..but it reali motivates me to even slog harder @ work haha. I still sms him thanks for the white lie..i sure he nt happy when seein my reply but i jus knew it la..

Tomoro is 2nd time to attend the board mtg with director and the rest of the safety commitee members..kinda feel like "octopus" when preparing the slides in office jus nw... feels kinda pek chek y simple thing i oso cannot do..haiz. Lucky my engineer is patient wif me le.. i reali hav so much to learn lor..reali nt easy le..i will put my heart to learn and pick up soon! After tomoro, nxt mth is i hav to face the music alone with boss le. Hope everything turns out smoothly @ the mtg..

Recently my sis keeps using the phone to "sweet talk" and makes me "shi mian" i still hav to put ear phones and listen to my own music and put on my eye mask frm thea..i jus dun wan pick up a fight..ya i noe.. my temper damn damn gd.. so i jus choose to set up all this " shelter" and my hse everywk got this "uninvited guest" of hers. =( Simply dread it! Mayb i shi lian le so hearing those abnormal "sweet nothings" pisses me more n more jus like Him1.
Ya...mayb kinda mixed feelings for him2 again cos he left 1 wk in semb le.. duno he will make more effort to come my office but i jus hope he can keep in touch with me.He is reali a gd fren i get to noe in semb...though we are "ai mei" de yi dui~ Yeah 1 thing happy abt dis sun is i get a chance to go up the ship - 1 of the proj ships here in semb for 3 yrs..the works all done finally..of cos this is the ship him2 is workin on these 2 yrs =) But he wont be thea cos he belongs to sub-con side. My company treats it as a family dae gathering and allow us to go up this ship to tour ard and i will definitely take pics. Its a lifetime experience thingy man! ..chey i tot it gets to sail but better den dun hav. Boss, me and 2 other Bangla engineers gg up too..heard gt wide spread of buffet too ! They all tease me to wear our safety coverall go and i jus refused to budge teehee. Yummy~ real lookin fwd and well after dat mayb go bac work abit.. well.. since i gt nothin to do..OT on weekends to earn more $.. i realise after the national rally - $$$$$$ is EVEN more impt to me den anything else! Dun worry i hav nt reached the mercenary stage haha..i wont allow myself too! Bleah! >____<

20 Aug is Darius bdae but i gt class so will mit up for dinner with him soon =) Happy bdae cun zhang! Thanks for always listening to my prob n nonsense ...
though u cannot cele ur bdae..but we will still mit up de.. thanks bro =)

Time to zzzz..reali dun wan be panda *roll eyes*
Phew! office flooring reno done i can hav some peace and air con again~

Reached hm ard 8pm..yup ot queen is @ it again.. haiz,wad a bad dae for me ? Early in the morn had some disagreements wif him2 but is ok nw.. =)

Todae my office mtg rm reno starts...and they open the door big big and the air con all "escaped".. and its damn irritating when i @ work..noise pollution and stuffs lo..i requested my office uncle to acc me go mini mart buy ice cream and cold drinks cos i gg to faint soon man! Den suddenly i realised i gt many other work to clear besides passes. The no of ppl coming for cses has cut dwn alot due to proj finishing..new proj coming nxt mth...so these 1 mth i can foresee OT queen gg to be sloggin real hard... ya i noticed due to weather hot and feelin the "stress" to do well in my new tasks... my pimples come to "visit" me freely... i totali cannot tahan & control..arghhhhhhh ! Only thing i can do is to make sure i doze off nt later den 12 am despite gt classes anot. My own projs oso gettin knotty...reali nt easy to study degree...lotsa research to do and trying my best to save my energy to go library... cos of all dis..i hav neglected biaomei n darius...sorry darlings~ i am reali sorry..

Ya..todae went to another 7mth prayer buffet lunch.. this time time gt ppl served me and my dept ppl...me, my uncle n 2 Bangla safety officers.. The contractor boss specially asked his staff to scoop food for us and ask their workers to serve us drinks.. - reali feels like VIP! Uncle says cos of me den gt this privilege cos the rest are queuing for food.. the boss told me he would nt like to see in the line cos "dangerous"..den 4 of us were brot to a little eating corner...guess wad...opp us is the workers so-called dormitory..hahaha..hmm cant expect much cos its a very "container" style of sub con office... and here u can find " the war of men" @ work. This is the 1st time i am exposed to such "area"...i forgot bring my cammy therefore no pics..but after awhile gt a guy frm the sub-con office volunteered to take pic for us..den my uncle says i am like "superstar" cos some of the yard mgrs saw me and came fwd to shake hands with me...of cos its those " friendly" uncles lor..haiz ..i dun like durian but they keep offering so i oso giv in finally la, cos very pai say to reject ma..they are mgrs le.. I told my dad sooner or later..i will fall in love wif "durian" cos the uncles are so-called training me le nt neoin i hated it the most hurhur~ Had a filling lunch and went bac office to nap under the "stuffy" air.. *cough cough*

Tomoro and sun got to go bac to supervise the work as well as to clear my work..hopefully mon can be done up. Boss went 2 wks in-camp training...and these 2 wks are very crucial..cos i hav to go board mtg , do mins, settle some invoice and chase suppliers for items, understudy my engineer learn hw to do powerpt slides to present @ mtg.. passes still hav to do la.. ya gt to mention except for him2 company and a few indian /bangla contractors click with me de.. very angry wif other sub-cons....they dun understand the meaning to use the new form and sent mail to me...arghhhhh.... "fed up" =( Some totali dun understand eng , some ask them giv me their email..they say go bac ask boss cos they are "computer illiterate.. haiz. Besides class i everydae OT..wad is weekdae/weekend no diff to me anymore...Boss wans most of my safety offrs go site to check on the workers more often cos seems like some "clients" are finding fault with us haiz..customers are always rite ma..wad to do ? ! Lots things happen @ work..i used to tink its men men world out thea..i jus sit in office under air con do my work..nw some safety updates or probs i oso need to be in the loop. Boss wans me to noe wad the rest of the guys are doin...i dun mind learn new things la...but can increase xiao nu zi de pay ? i wan more $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ =( Recently keep "escapin" to mini mart to buy ice cream, tidbits..real stressed...and the weather is reali unbearable for my mood too...very prone to get irritated. But my malay engrs says he cannot tahan so many ppl in out of my office all like to talk to me / flirt with me. Even 1 sub-con bangla supervisor praised my nails so nice.. diong~ He says i reali popular le...he jealous haha...its like evryone wans to hav a "piece of word" with me.

Ya ...him1 called me 6am in the morn..damn pissed off...i still tot its alarm ringing. wad the hell rite? Nw @ nite after my class if i see some guy sittin @ my void deck..i will see clearly make sure its nt him...its kinda phobia for me. Sometimes i forget to drip my lavender, i will start to dream of him - wanting to patch up n very drama... so i choose to be on "drip" everynite and ya with my sleepin mask on..exaggerating rite? Ya i still trying to be as mei mei as possible le..always wan look the best when gg to work...no ones noes wad i gg thru nw...even him2..i find it irrelevant to share wif him so i jus keep it to myself...him2 oso nt havin easy time @ work.. i kinda used to his mood swings nw n then..ya many frens say i behave like his gf nw...in a way he oso allows himself to "behave" like my bf too..well .. everythin is still under ctrl. =P Alot of things its reali nt within my control ..emotions can but nt feelings.. i am in my own"fairyland" nw ..the princess will soon wake up when my prince comes and kisses me.. i am nt able to do anything so far jus hav to keep roaming and roaming until my prince saves the damsel- me la! Meaning..nt dat i hav new suitor or wad la..its when the passion frm him dies off..for me is easy..i jus move on frm thea..i am sure i can do it...cos this will be the 2nd time i gg thru all dis..so kinda noe hw to handle le. *fingers crossed*" My dream will be shattered prob after 2 wks..but chattin with Serene sis jus nw when doin ot..we assume me n him2 gg to be draggy like korean drama.. sometimes i tink to msyelf i am better off if he is a player... Thanks sis for callin me when i so stressed @ work ..reali appreciate it! ^___________^

Well.. i will drink tons of water ba...Another new ulcer in my mouth..sobz. Reali hope this dis tight period can pass fast... i wan unwind myself.. i miss those i havent mit long time de..hugs =) if nobody can understand its ok with me..cos only i noe hw busy i am.

So fast working in here comin to 1 yr le , to be exact its 3 Sep..time reali flies..haiz.

Cannot imagine i bck after 1 mth! Ha..Shanna has been my die-hard fan of my blog..well due to i everydae busy @ work and studies..when i reali wan find time to update: MY COM DWN! Only todae den UP..i oso no time to care haha...by the time reach hm dun even wan see com lo.
Lotsa things remain the same for this 1mth... jus dat meet biaomei and Darius lesser cos new proj comin up and i reali gt more passes to do..well my work process has been cut dwn by Boss and i am been tasked more "siong" tasks..like attending board meetin with boss, write mins , secretary chores, and nw i am slowly bein trained to noe abt our safety operations so that i can help my engineers and officers with their paperwork! Pay still same...why why why... ?!!!
2wks ago...i finally cannot tahan "HIM" and called to scold him..be it is to encourage him or wad...i even resort to lying that i hav went ovrs for training and he is so persistent to call me. I really #%#% jia lat jia lat when he says w/o me he duno the meaning of life and duno wads is to move on..i heard le ..damn boiled lo..and began to take dwn my "gd temper" moment and told him off...if he reali think this way..he better go die le.. I will pity his family lor! I noe its harsh to him and i rarely treat him lidat..but he is beyond hope! I am reali so glad i hav moved on..well work n studies are the main distraction..@ 1st i will still tink and cry over him, no appetite, see a couple on street i will be emo...nw slowly slowly...after throwin away all memories, old stuffs, soft toys frm him...i began to slowly adapt life w/o him..

I nver expect i can do this..and yet i hav done it..he pissses me off more than anything nw~ this will be the last time i gg to say abt HIM...he shall perish with all my old stuffs..of cos i oso hope he can find his happiness and reali move on frm thea..even those of his frens i bumped into all say i hav made the rite choice..see see...tsk tsk...speechless rite~ =( I noe i hav changed my tinking and i am proudly to say here "I DUN LOVE HIM ANYMORE".
Ya..talking abt work..some sub-cons still nt used to the new working procedures and i am trying my best to convince them using my charm haha. Boss told me initially gg to be a lady safety offr but nw bac to sq 1... i am the PRINCESS once again hurhur~ everyone reali dotes on me..my only motivation to go work~ hee =) Really hav gd rapport with my 2 young Bangla engineers and keep teasin me with "HIM" haha.
THIS IS MY 1ST TIME CONFESSIN IN MY BLOG abt 2nd HIM.. dun be shocked cos i oso cannot accept in the 1st place..~ mixed feelings~ NW its considered settled dwn! =p

Hmm well recently my mood reali brightened alot..thanks to another "HIM" whom I got to noe few mths ago helps to distract me alot alot..cos always givin me extra work and "attention" haha.
Haha..i tot besides the old "HIM" i wont hav any feelings for any1 easily..well it happened last mth.. and strangely it jus happen lidat "unintentionally".. i choose to jus move on and enjoy "the process" and i am contented oredi cos we wont hav any outcome..to be liked someone @ work for this period is such a wonderful feelin be it real or fake..at least i still noe i still hav mkt value after so long..Thank you for helpin me to divert my attn on u though u are leavin the yard soon - "Ah du" ! ^_________^ I will nt forget our "drama sms-es" and had a conflict ..till nw.. haha..nope me n him nt togther le.. called it "AI MEI" and as Trish described " Zui Shou Xi de Mo Sheng Ren" ...cos me n him only close when sms..other den work issues.. we dun call each other due to his workplace and we hav to lie low! I like the way he disturbs me haha.. reali hope he can come bac look for me as he promised..so happy to see him each time lo esp last fri when my dept was invited by his office to join in the 7th mth prayer and lunch..reali so "drama" and our actions are so "unnatural" that kind of feelin reali hard to describe ..nt LOVE but its jus wantin to hav a look @ him and dats it haha. I dun LOVE HIM cos after my previous rs...i only giv my love to my chummies noein they all deserve it =) I jus enjoy this process duno when it will end soon! Sometimes the feeling he gives me is so serious & i am taken aback but no matter hw i am still noein wad i am doin~ nt to worry~ its like history repeating somehw in some way~ yrs back.. dun wish mention here! =(

Only hope i dun wake up so soon... - tinking about this song - WAKE ME UP WHEN SEP ENDS?
Its nt rite ..but nothin is logical esp feelin.. my close frens whom i almost everydae contact will noe wad happen.. ! Its better off den i cry myself to sleep and drippin on my lavender aromatherapy oil on my pillow every nite...so pls bear with my nonsense dear frens.. i promise i will recover soon@.. so no need knock sense into me nw! Y him ? cos he is the only chinese sub-con younger manager dat can click with me lor.
~stay tuned to my new blogskin le"

PS : no new pics cos long time no go out hiao le